Transverse
by MyMagentaPeach
Summary: Pavarotti is dead. Kurt is deeply upset. Blaine tries to cheer him up by taking him to his piano recital that evening, but things turn out different than expected, and the boys learn a lot they did not know about each other.
1. Urges

**Transverse**

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

A/N: I am excited, much more than I thought I would be, to finally share some of that imagination of mine – which btw drives me crazy a lot of the time - with you. I hope you enjoy the read. The story is nowhere near finished, so I hope you will want more after this chapter.

So, this is me reposting the whole story, because I really wanted to fix some mistakes I found re-reading, and put all of it in the present tense.

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><p><strong>Chapter one<strong>

„Thank you." Kurt says with a voice as tearstained as his cheeks.

To Blaine the words sound almost like a sob. It is this moment that he knows he has lost the fight with himself.

He gets up and almost runs over to Kurt.

On his way he twice stumbles over some of the other Warblers, and almost finds himself on the ground. Even if asked right there and then, seconds after it

happened, he would not be able to tell you who it was that he had just tripped over.

Blaine is across the room full of boys – miraculously without actually taking a fall - so fast, and his arms around the boy entirely dressed in black, that Kurt

yet has to respond to suddenly being held like that, and by Blaine of all people.

Blaine's eyes have been firmly fixed on Kurt for the bigger part of the song, and he has no intention of bringing about a change in that any time soon, but

realizes he has to as he encloses the other boy in a firm embrace. The feeling of Kurt in his arms makes up for it though, and Blaine, his head lightly resting

on the slightly taller boy's right shoulder, cannot help the small smile playing around his lips.

'Blaine is hugging, holding me really in front of all kinds of other people.' Kurt thinks to himself, and Blaine feels him stirring slightly in his arms.

This hug, a gesture that on any other occasion would have immediately been accompanied by catcalls and wolf whistles, - originating from the other

members of the Dalton Glee Club present in the practice room - is this time allowed to take place in silence.

Unknown to the two boys partaking in the hug it is silently acknowledged by the other Warblers with warm, almost hesitant smiles.

Blaine can feel Kurt's body tense at the unexpected touch, so he tightens his hold on Kurt, in the hope that the blue-eyed boy will relax into his embrace.

When his act is instead met by Kurt growing more tense in his arms, and even beginning to shake Blaine is confused, and prepares himself to let go of the

boy right now still in his arms, although it is the last thing he wants right now.

Before he gets the chance to pull back to be able to look at the other boy, Kurt suddenly buries his head in the crook of Blaine's neck, and wraps his arms

tightly around Blaine's shoulders, holding on to him for dear life.

"It's fine Kurt, let it out. Let it all out." Blaine whispers soothingly into the other boy's ear.

After a short while, Blaine manages to move them, both still holding each other close, onto one of the couches in the room.

They break apart, after neither knows how long a time, and Blaine's gaze immediately wanders to Kurt's face. Hoping he will be able to catch his eye so he

can offer him a comforting smile.

Kurt clearly has other ideas, or at least not that one, and his eyes firmly pinned downward.

When, after what to Blaine feels like hours, Kurt's gaze finally meets Blaine's, the dark haired boy instantly has to fight hard not to give in to the impulse to

run his fingers through the slightly tousled strand of hair hanging into Kurt's eyes.

That urge takes Blaine himself by surprise. 'I just want to comfort him, nothing strange, nothing sexual about that at all. Right?'

After what feels like no more than a second of just staring back into Blaine's eyes, Kurt closes his own and attempts a deep steadying breath.

Kurt's still uneven breathing though is completely caught in his throat when he feels the fingertips of Blaine's right hand brush the strand of hair tenderly out

of face.

In this moment Kurt wishes for nothing more than for Blaine's hand to move to rest on his cheek, for the opportunity to lean into Blaine's touch.

But within seconds, Kurt can feel Blaine's hand moving away, and back down onto Kurt's, where it had been resting before.

When Kurt opens his eyes and looks right back again into Blaine's that 'Has he just been staring at my lips al this time?' Kurt is not sure if he would be

comfortable with that.

Fearing the mixture of desperation, frustration and confusion he can feel so painfully clear might show in his eyes Kurt glances around the room only to find

it, except for the two of them, empty.

"Where did everyone go?" Kurt kind of blurts out.

Blaine only now looks around the room himself "Oh, they must have left to give us some privacy."

Kurt blushes.

"No, I just meant…" but even Blaine himself does not know what he means anymore, so he stops midsentence, and moves back a little, from where Kurt

and he have all this time been scooting very close together.

They remain seated like this for a while, simply holding each other's hands. Neither willing to give up the warmth of the other's touch just yet.


	2. Initials

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee.

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><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

Blaine is about to open his mouth and ask Kurt pointblank what this is truly about for him.

He stops himself at the last second.

Having decided he knows his friend well enough to make a sensible guess, without forcing Kurt to retell or relive more painful memories, he begins to

speak - his soft voice filling the silence with an almost whisper - "Your dad's heart attack and…" Blaine hesitates again, already, and hates himself a little for

it, but he has his reasons. After all they have never really talked about her other than Kurt telling him she died when he was eight.

"…your Mum?"

Kurt nods, some silent tears trickling down his cheeks.

Blaine takes out a handkerchief and wipes them away.

This has Kurt fixing his eyes on Blaine's questioningly.

"You…"

"I?" Blaine replies wondering what is to come.

"You seriously carry around a handkerchief?" And Blaine loves how Kurt is almost smiling and giving him, what Mercedes has proudly dubbed, his bitch-

glare.

So Blaine plays along, and just shrugs, holding it so Kurt is bound to see…

"Oh My GOSH! Are those initials embroidered on it? What are you, one of the three Musketeers? No let me guess again, you are D'Artagnan. I always

imagined him as disturbingly hyperactive as you are. I figure that is how he always gets away without a single scratch. It is certainly not his sword fighting skills."

"Ouch. Hey, did you just call me unskilled?"

"Well the disturbingly uncoordinated way in which you just jump on everything that does not move…" Blaine gives Kurt a mock scandalized look here "…oh

stop it, I mean furniture, and you know it."

Blaine basks in Kurt's laughter that follows that statement. 'I knew I could get him there.'

Almost sounding lighthearted now, Blaine says "You know what. How about we try to take your mind of things properly instead of sitting in here all day? I

have a piano recital later today and I would love for you to come and hear me play."

"Sounds wonderful." Kurt replies, by now no traces of his bitch-glare left anywhere in his wide smile.

Blaine returns the smile, gives Kurt's hands another light squeeze, and then lets go.

"So I pick you up at around 4:40 this afternoon? It won't start until 8, but I need to warm up, and I would love to properly show you the place before I do.

We can drive there together. It is at a small concert hall in town. My piano teacher has contacts there."

Kurt says yes in a way only he ever does, and Blaine cannot help his own smile growing even wider at hearing those words.

"What shall I wear?"

It is not only the hoped for yes, but also the question Blaine has been waiting to hear, knowing it means he has now truly succeeded in his mission to take

Kurt's mind of this, at least for the next couple of hours, and won't have to worry that much about leaving him alone until he picks him up later.

Blaine, for a moment getting a little lost in Kurt's eyes, finds himself searching for the right words "Just…" he pauses, then he remembers all the time they

spent listening to Nirvana this weekend in Blaine's dorm room.

Blaine had been surprised to learn about their shared fascination with the 90s music group. "…come as you are." He finally says with a small smirk on his

face.

It takes Kurt a moment to process what Blaine has actually just said; but Blaine can see the moment Kurt's thoughts all fall into place; and the boys almost

simultaneously break into the widest of smiles yet.


	3. 4:39

Disclaimer: Still don't, I repeat DON'T, own Glee. Writing this sentence will never make me happy, damn it.

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><p><strong>Chapter Three<strong>

4:39pm precisely finds Kurt pacing nervously behind his closed door.

"Why am I nervous?" he mutters to himself, then rolls his eyes at the sound of his own muttering.

Little does he know that on the other side of said door his fellow Warbler is very much mirroring his action.

4:40 pm then finds one of the boys placing himself in front of the door, nervously attempting to take a deep calming breath, then raising his slightly shaky

hand to knock; which when executed results in the boy on the other side, now deeply and quite desperately tangled in his own thoughts, jumping almost out

of his skin.

As it turns out, it takes only one quick pull on the door latch to take away all the awkwardness of the ever building anticipation, and replace it with

comforting warmth at the first sight the boys catch of each other's smiling faces.

Kurt steps out into the hall and pulls the door, that is now - much to both boys' pleasure - no longer an additional barrier between them, shut behind

himself. Blaine for the first time really takes in Kurt's outfit.

He can't help but notice that Kurt's choices in clothing are decidedly less colorful today than any other day that he has so far seen Kurt out of the Dalton

uniform.

Nevertheless they are still so very much Kurt, maybe even more, since they have so quite obviously been chosen to reflect his exact mood, have been

picked with even more care than usually, to make 100% sure they truly fulfill that purpose.

Most of all, and most importantly Blaine is aware of one aspect of it all 'He always looks so much more alive in his own clothes, even today, sad as he is.'

"It is true." Kurt will tell Blaine, some day in the near future when Blaine finally voices these thoughts to Kurt.

And Blaine will then too learn that Kurt has, by then, for a long time used clothes not just as clothing to cover up his body - in a manner, in Kurt's case more

or less approved of and pleasing to society.

Kurt searches out and stretches fashion to all of its limits – of which Kurt will swear all his life, whenever asked for his opinion, there aren't any, only taste

and tastes - to brighten up his days.

To Kurt clothes are not just the fabric that has always been useful in hiding the bruises from dumpster tosses and being pushed into lockers from his father's

eyes, that would just have made him hate them in time.

So Kurt came to choose this different, very different perspective on clothes. "They show others, but most of all make me see and remind me, that there are

many sides to me, and no limits," Kurt will proudly tell Blaine, when Blaine one day gives him a strange look for wearing something that Kurt clearly has not

found in any men's department.

That is why his clothes are something so much more to Kurt, that very something that even now at Dalton still aids in softening the blows that life deals

him, in ways other's never seem to understand.

There is a story behind almost every single piece of clothing Kurt owns, some happy, some sad.


	4. You don't know

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, or any of the songs mentioned in this chapter.

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><p><strong>Chapter Four<strong>

Blaine marvels at Kurt's outfit for a short moment then simply says out loud "You look great."

His words earn him a smile from Kurt and… "_As you want me to be_?"

'What?' Blaine thinks, and then 'To hell with it,' and says just that: "What?"

He looks really puzzled for a moment, and Kurt is already laughing when Blaine finally can bring his mind to relax and make the connection.

"Another Nirvana reference? Really?"

Still laughing Kurt replies "Hey, you started it. And it was not that obscure. I mean I did not ask you how Polly was, or if you remembered to get her some

crackers."

"That's it Kurt. I will definitely hide my N'Sync collection, otherwise you will start quoting that back at me to."

"Oh, so you _just want to tell me that you've had enough_?" Kurt is laughing so hard now, that he has to lean himself up against the wall to not fall over.

"Kurt! Seriously!"

"I assume you won't want to take me along anymore now. Oh well. _Bye…Bye…Bye_." Kurt manages to bring himself to say between laughs, with a slight pout

on his face.

Blaine throws another irritated look his way, which only makes Kurt burst into another fit of laughter.

'He seems a little hyper. I hope he calms down a bit before we get there. After all we are not on our way to a rock concert. We should totally do that next

though.'

"I fear the day, when you actually begin to get creative with this, instead of just blurting out the first thing that comes to mind." Blaine eventually says,

when Kurt stops roaring with laughter.

"Oh, I can be creative plenty, Blaine. And I don't blurt, I'll have you know."

"I am sure Kurt." Blaine says with a smile.

They make their way to Blaine's car, and even almost the whole short ride to the concert hall, without so much as one other incident of lyric quoting.

That is until...Blaine is pretty sure that he hears Kurt choke back a laugh when Jimmy Fallon's "Idiot Boyfriend" comes on the radio and is about to look over

when he decides to instead just listen in to the actual lyrics, carefully, hoping that will give him some kind of idea what is so funny about it all to Kurt. 

_"…Baby, I know I'm a man who's made mistakes, I still got some learnin' to do, I made out with your best friend the other day…"_Fallon sure enough sings

mere moments later.

Blaine gives Kurt a quick worried glance, half expecting him to throw an angry look his way, but Kurt, to Blaine's surprise is still clutching his right hand

firmly over his own mouth trying to contain the laughter that is by now shaking his whole frame.

A moment later Kurt simply cannot hold the laughter in anymore; and Blaine begins to smile as well, Kurt's laughter is too infectious.

But Blaine still says - in a mock hurt tone - "I will have you know that was a deeply traumatic experience for me."

Kurt snorts "Oh, please. You were so drunk, I am pretty sure you can't even remember it. I am the one who has to live with the 100% crystal clear memory

of you sucking Berry's face all night. That qualifies for trauma."

"Sorry." Blaine says in a small voice as they drive into the concert hall's parking lot, which is still more than half-empty.

Yes, they are early, very early, but experience has taught Blaine that that really does not make much of a difference. After all they are in a small town in

Ohio.

Attending piano recitals is not exactly the number one pastime around here. He is therefore all the more excited to have Kurt with him, someone who will

surely appreciate the music just as much as the performers themselves.

The boys both grow quiet for a moment while Blaine parks the car.

He has just pulled the keys from the ignition and his right hand, still holding them, is resting on his upper thigh when he feels Kurt's hand on his.

As he turns to look at Kurt, he is met with a warm smile. "I know you are, sorry, I mean. It's okay. Really."

Blaine looks at him with great uncertainty, and Kurt can see the pain in Blaine's eyes at the idea of having hurt Kurt for no reason.

"Blaine, I have made mistakes too you know. Many of them, and some much, very much like what happened with you and Rachel."

Blaine's expression only grows more irritated at that.

"Okay. So…" Kurt takes a deep steadying breath before he continues, but to Blaine's surprise Kurt's voice is still very shaky. "…I have never really, actually

told anyone before. I mean…I mean my friends in the Glee Club back at McKinley know, but just because it happened right before their eyes, and no one

ever asked for any kind of explanation; which is now that I think about it kind of unsettling, and strange. Anyway, so, yeah. Okay. Mmh…"

"Kurt, I won't judge you. You know that. Right? Please tell me you know that."

"The thing is…you have every right to, after the way I behaved during the whole Rachel situation."

"I don't think that can ever be true, but okay; then tell me whatever it is, so I can get on with getting angry at you, or upset with you, or whatever, to make

you feel less guilty. Because, you know, I can get angry at you if it helps. Anything, for you."

Kurt actually has to laugh a little at that. "Crazy logic, but okay. So, I …but before I say it, you have to promise to let me finish explaining it all before you

interrupt. Well, explain as much as I can."

Blaine only nods, a serious look on his face.


	5. Questions

Disclaimer: Nope, simple as that; NOPE, I do not own Glee.

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><p><strong>Chapter Five<strong>

"I think what I did, was actually much worse than the thing with you and Rachel, because…I actually tried to be someone I knew I wasn't. I was so sure of

who I was, of who I am, even back then, but I was equally scared, not even of the world. Sure I hate that they hate me, but it is really only my father I

need to understand me, to accept me. I felt like I was losing him, quickly, and I just had to do something, anything I could think of. He is all I have left."

At that Blaine places his left hand gently over Kurt's still holding his right and whispers "You have me as well now, I hope you know that."

Kurt continues "Thank you. I know you get the need I feel to be close to my dad Blaine, because I can see you wish for it so badly for yourself and your dad

as well. And sure my dad is more accepting than yours, by far, but it is not all about my sexuality. I am so different from him in interests and ideas and…he

talks about us having this deal …"

Saying this, which he has thought so many times in the last months, out loud, Kurt has slightly recoiled from Blaine, whose hands are still resting where

Kurt's left hand had been held by his own, what seems only a second ago to Blaine. Blaine instantly misses the feeling of being connected to Kurt.

For now though Kurt's hands are out of Blaine's reach, as Kurt is holding them, tightly intertwined, clutched to his own chest as if he needs more than

anything to hold on to himself just now.

"What deal? Sorry, won't interrupt again. Promise."

"It's okay. The deal is that we take each other as we are. He does not try to change me, and I don't try to change him. But as much as I love him and he

loves me, there is this distance, that gap that cannot be bridged. It has always hurt a lot to know that it just is that way and will very likely always be that

way. But when Carole and my dad started dating and I saw my dad spending time with Finn…and it was all so easy, so simple, the two got each other

immediately. A complete stranger to my father is able to be closer to him, to connect with him more than I have ever been able to, and they are just so

comfortable with each other. I felt so alone when I first had to face that. So I tried to be more like my dad. I promised myself to work hard at making that

connection that I was convinced should be there between him and me. I dressed like my dad, acted more 'stereotypically male', sang songs I knew would

please him, and even…I dated Brittany."

Kurt does not look up from the spot on the floor of Blaine's car, right between his feet, that his eyes have wandered to during his monologue, but he is

pretty sure that after their fight about Rachel a couple of weeks ago he knows what Blaine's face contorted into an expression of shock looks like anyway; so

Kurt does not even feel the slightest impulse to look up at him.

"I dated Brittany only for a couple of days, and whenever we made out all I could think about was what boys' lips might taste like. I even asked her that

question once. She said like her armpits."

Kurt hears a slight chuckle at that coming from his left and before he can think about it twice, he turns his head to face Blaine. And it is not disgust, or

shock, or even anger Kurt sees there.

It is more an expression of wonder, and even a slight smile "Sorry Kurt, but the image of you making out with Brittany, even if I only get it secondhand

from you telling the story is slightly amusing."

Kurt is sure his face must look completely blank right there and then, because he has no idea what to think or feel at this moment. "You are not angry." It is

not a question.

"Why would I even be so much as upset?" Kurt frowns at this, so Blaine continues "I get it. Even if it was not at all motivated by a confusion about your

sexuality as it might have been with me."

"Might have been?"

"Listen, Kurt. I was not sure about who I was anymore, yes, that is true, I think. But don't you think if society was more accepting of us being gay I might

have not felt the need or…or the pressure to try and be someone who I know is accepted instead of trying to date a boy first. I would probably have met

someone years ago and been able to be close to someone long before I even got aware of the pressure society puts on us to be what it thinks it needs,

rather than what we are. I am sure you would have met someone too, long before, you know, the whole Brittany thing. You tried to be someone who is

accepted, and loved. I would never hate or judge you for that. Trouble is, being accepted and loved means nothing, if you are not accepted for who you are,

loved for who you are. If anything I imagine it was much more painful for you to go through this than for me, because you had to actively try and force

yourself to go through with it. I was half dazed and delirious at the time, and I am not talking just about the alcohol. I mean, it is kind of like we went to the

hospital for the exact same painful surgery. But while I was high on medical marijuana, you did not even get regular painkillers to help you through it."

Kurt now can only stare at Blaine. He suddenly feels the urgent need to convince himself that this amazing boy, who understands him better than he seems

to understand himself sometimes, is real.

Through the fog of his slightly teary eyes Kurt reaches out to touch his right hand to Blaine's left cheek. Kurt takes in a sharp breath at the feel of that all

too real boy's warmth caressing his fingertips.

And that question Brittany has answered in such a strange way pops back into his head, and won't stop nagging at his mind 'What would boys'… no…. What

would Blaine's lips taste like?'


	6. Close

Disclaimer: I need another love affair, to distract me from the fact that I still don't own any of Glee.

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><p><strong>Chapter Six<strong>

Blaine is at first confused to find Kurt's hand so suddenly on his cheek, but as he hears the soft whisper of Kurt's voice, more to himself than Blaine, "You

are real," Blaine understands.

He understands that to Kurt he is someone who is willing, and also able, to take Kurt exactly as he is, and does it lovingly; another person who is always

relaxed and comfortable around him, with him; 'After all that happened with Finn, that must be extremely important to Kurt,' Blaine finds himself thinking.

Blaine also understands that he is to Kurt all that which Blaine himself misses the most in his life too. Someone who truely understands him and only loves

him more for it. 'Love.' Blaine grows really quiet for one moment, and Kurt can feel the change under his tender touch on Blaine's cheek.

'Maybe Kurt and his mother were close just like that' Blaine thinks, 'but no one since'. And the idea of that kind of loneliness that he himself too knows

all too well saddens him deeply.

Focusing back on Kurt's eyes, Blaine realizes what it was that he felt listening to Kurt sing Blackbird today, what it was that made him run up to Kurt and

hold him as close to himself as he was physically able to.

On the surface, it had been a seemingly simple act of comfort, but it had meant so much more to both boys, in that moment, who had not experienced this

closeness to another person for so long.

It had been about reminding not only Kurt but himself that they no longer had to be alone with their thoughts of hope or fear.

So Blaine decides to take a chance right here and now. To let Kurt know that Blaine does not only understand how Kurt feels, but finally got to the bottom of

his own ever conflicted emotions.

He too wants to stop wondering what boys' lips taste like, but especially this one boy's lips in front of him.

So he decides to lean in, in the hope that Kurt will not decide to lean back.

As Blaine's eyes flutter shut right before he leans slightly forward, he can still feel the light touch of Kurt's soft skin on his cheek.

As their lips meet Blaine is surprised by two things: One, how smooth yet rough Kurt's lips feel at the same time. Two, how short the distance between them

had actually been.

It is only when he opens his eyes again, that he realizes Kurt must have moved in before he had the chance to put his thoughts into action.

As they pull away, they are both slightly out of breath, but Blaine is the one sporting a blush.

Just now fully taking in Blaine's flushed face Kurt says through the smile firmly fixed onto his face "So how do I compare to Rachel?"

"How is it we are talking about birds today All The Time. Pavarotti, Polly, Rachel, Brittany." Blaine says with a smile, then adds in a more serious tone

"Never mind Rachel or Brittany right now. Although I have to say I would be interested in her teaching me that thing you just did with your tongue."

Now it is Kurt's turn to blush. "What makes you think I learned that from her? Maybe I am just naturally great at this. Gifted even."

"Another thing Kurt, what do Brittany's armpits actually taste like? Because they would have to be some pretty awesome armpits to…"

And with that Kurt's mouth is back on his.

As they separate for the second time Kurt simply says "I don't care what straight boys lips taste like, because I am pretty sure most of Brittany's experience

kissing is with that demographic. And I will have you know, I do not know what Brittany's armpits taste like. Thank you very much."

"Can I get another taste of you then?" Blaine says with a smirk and a wink, and right now Kurt really does not have to be asked twice, all too good is the

feel of their lips working gently yet persistently not against but with each other.

Both boys relish in the feeling, knowing that they want each other for who they are, not the polished versions they dish out to their parents or teachers or

fellow Warblers.

This time Kurt is the one breaking the kiss. "Should we go inside now? I don't want to stop kissing you but I also don't want to miss out on my first chance

to hear you play more than a couple of notes from a Christmas Song."

Blaine smiles and replies "I will be playing just for you. I mean that was the plan all along anyway, but now it is not only to cheer you up anymore, it is to

let you know how much I care about you as my boyfriend."

Kurt smiles the softest smile yet and says "Boyfriend. I like the sound of that."

"Me too."

They both exit the car, and while Blaine locks it, Kurt walks over to Blaine's side and holds out his left hand to him. "Shall we?"

"One moment, Kurt, there is just one thing I need…." And with that Blaine leans in once more, this time certain he has made the move, and captures Kurt's

lips with his a final time before they set of towards the main entrance of the concert hall, still holding hands, fingers thoroughly intertwined.


	7. Holding on

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any songs mentioned.

A/N: Reviews would be lovely, I would really like to know what you think of the story up to this point.

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><p><strong>Chapter Seven<strong>

Walking into the really rather small concert hall, at first sight Kurt guesses there is room for about 200 people, Blaine never lets go of Kurt's hand, not for a

single moment.

"I know, it is very small."

"It is nice, Blaine, almost cozy. "

"Really, you like it? I am so glad. You know this is one of my favorite places in all of Ohio. Some of my happiest moments have been on that stage, and I

really would love to have some more happy moments here, with you."

"Yes," is all Kurt can bring himself to say for now, but his voice is filled with such warmth and adoration, his smile so unmistakably bright that it is really all

that needs saying.

Blaine pulls Kurt into a tight embrace "There are some really great people here tonight that you're going to love."

With that Blaine starts walking to the front of the audience where a small group of people is chatting with great enthusiasm.

"Most of us only see each other when we have these small get-togethers" Blaine explains "so yeah, everyone is pretty excited. Basically we all come to

share our common love for music. Our teacher started organizing these kind of events, long before I joined, so that her students would be motivated by the

progress they can observe in others. "

"As long as that expression of mutual love is not accompanied by the kind of drama I am used to from New Directions I should be just fine."

"That is precisely the beauty of this arrangement. Since none of us sees the others, except of course Miss Bright, our teacher, more often than every other

month, we share all the fun, but don't even have the chance to work up any drama."

"That sounds actually quite nice."

"It is." Blaine assures Kurt with a smile.

Walking up to Blaine's teacher Kurt is about to let go of Blaine's hand feeling the other boys touch loosen a little. Blaine, who is standing to Kurt's left,

instead of letting go of Kurt completely, in a simple swift movement briefly holds on to both of Kurt's hands, only entirely letting go of Kurt's left when he

has thoroughly intertwined the fingers of his own left hand with those of Kurt's right.

Kurt has to hold back a laugh because that switch to Kurt's right side is so Blaine to him, in that it reminds Kurt very much of the roll across Kurt's chest

that Blaine performed while they had sung "Baby it's cold outside".

Blaine gives him a quizzical look "I will need my right hand in a moment to greet the others, so I just thought…"

"It's not that. You just reminded me of…"

"Oh, _Baby it's cold outside_ right?"

"Yes. How did you…"

"Well that move in December was not exactly spontaneous. I mean I did not know I wanted to be with you like I do now, but I knew I wanted to be close to

you, so, yeah."

"You are such a dork." Kurt states and gives Blaine a quick peck on the cheek.

Blaine's smile says everything that Kurt needs to hear.

Looking around at all the strangers' faces, Kurt hopes Blaine will always be that constant in his life that helps him be so much more open to new

experiences, new people. It has been so hard for so long. So lonely, most of all, and he had almost given up when there suddenly was Blaine. Lucky is too

small a word to describe how Kurt feels in this very moment.

Kurt is surprised at how comfortable yet special it feels walking around holding hands with Blaine all the while. It is especially nice, since no one seems to

care that there are two boys holding hands standing right next to them.

Kurt smiles to himself. Having been in the company of these people for only a couple of minutes he already has an idea of why Blaine loves them so much.

Because as much as he is Blaine the lead vocalist of the Warblers, Kurt knows his boyfriend will always be just as content to simply be one of the guys, and

here he can be just that, part of a group of people who simply care for something, deeply. Even in the Warblers he does not seem to ask for the attention,

people simply appear to feel drawn to, in a way even gravitate towards him.

No one here seems out to rival with each other, to compete in any way. It is all warm smiles, and later on this evening, watching all the solo performances

Kurt will truly understand why. They might all be soloists at their instruments, but the group they all love and appreciate so much being there to watch and

especially listen, is what brings out the real joy in all of them.

Kurt nods and smiles politely at everyone, offers the occasional "Hello, nice to meet you," here and there.

Slightly preoccupied with new names and faces all around, it takes him a minute to realize where Blaine is headed.

"Are you sure it is okay for me to be here with you?" Kurt whispers to Blaine.

"Of course, it's fine. We are our own little family of misfits here, so no one minds a new face, as long as it is a friendly one." Blaine replies while pushing the

door to a backstage warm-up area open.

In the middle of opening the entrance to the room Blaine looks back at Kurt and explains "There is a piano in here I just need to warm-up on a little, I don't

like doing it on stage in front of everyone, but you are not everyone or just anyone, so I thought you might like to listen in a little."

Now that he has a full view of the room Kurt stops dead in the doorway, his eyes fixed on something. Blaine follows Kurt's gaze with a worried expression.

About to ask what is wrong, he too sees the girl sitting at the piano, looking over her shoulder at the two boys who have just entered the room "Oh."


	8. Backstage

Disclaimer: Hermione can't draw, apparently, and I do so not own Glee.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eight<strong>

The girl sports a slight smirk on her face, but it is already a much softer expression than Kurt is used to from her.

"Hey guys, fancy seeing you two here. Well, I mean I expected Blaine, but, wait a minute, have you two finally gotten your act together and are actually

dating?" She says gesturing towards the boys still very much intertwined hands.

"Before I even consider answering any of that, what are you even doing here Santana?" Kurt replies dryly.

"I think I might have an idea Kurt." Blaine interjects.

Kurt is too stunned to say anything, and instead just throws questioning looks at both of them.

"Yes." Santana just says looking at Blaine, nodding slightly.

"Would either of you care to explain?" Kurt can feel himself grow more and more annoyed by the second. "Don't tell me you are bi after all and not only

dating me, but Santana as well!"

Blaine can only offer Kurt a shocked look at that half serious accusation, so Santana is quick to say "No, Kurt. You really don't have to worry about that at

all, ever again, actually."

"Are you talking about you or Blaine?"

"Of course I cannot speak for Blaine, but I figure the way he is holding on to your hand, and the way he has been looking at you every time I saw you two

together ever, you will have nothing to worry about from his side either." Blaine squeezes Kurt's hand gently.

Kurt has to smile at that silent reassurance and makes sure to return the gesture, which within a heartbeat puts a bright smile on Blaine's face.

Santana goes on "But to answer your question properly, I was actually talking about myself."

"What about you?" Blaine asks in a much softer voice than anything that has been said in this room so far.

"Could you close that door first? I really don't want to do this with someone potentially listening in."

"Sure Santana. Are you alright?" Kurt asks in a quiet but clearly concerned voice.

"The door!"

"Oh yeah, sure, sorry." Blaine closes it, then turns back to Kurt, who has untwined their hands and is walking over to Santana by now.

Both are about to simply sit down on the floor – the room is not really equipped with any particularly comfortable furniture, it is mainly filled with boxes

labeled with different names of plays, Kurt figures it is where old props and scripts are, at least in part, stored if they are deemed re-usable – when Blaine

asks them to just give him a moment. They watch him almost bolt out of the room, and return a moment later with three cushions that look rather huge to

Kurt. Watching Blaine carry them over he has to laugh.

"What?" Blaine asks.

"Nothing. Well, next to you those cushions look just really, really huge."

"Well, that is mainly because they are." Blaine smiles.

"Mainly." Santana repeats with a very serious expression on her face, but her trademark bitchy sarcasm is still showing through.

They all burst into laughter.

Blaine points towards the one corner of the room, right next to the piano that is not completely stacked with boxes "I know it could never possibly look like

it, but it is actually pretty cozy, as long as you got these cushions."

"Oh?" Kurt smirks "So you have done this before."

Blaine's expression grows a little more serious as he replies "Well, yes. I mean you know how I have many happy memories here Kurt. So really it is a

rather obvious choice to come here to forget the bad ones." His voice begins to slightly quiver on those last words, and his eyes wander to the floor. Before

he knows it he is pulled into a hug.

He responds eagerly, but it takes him only a second to realize it quite obviously is not Kurt holding him. Pulling back Blaine looks up into Santana's tear

filled eyes. "Sorry." She chokes out, but Blaine is not, not at all. So he pulls her back in for another, warmer hug.

Finally both let go and turn to Kurt, surprise is written all over his face, and at least a dozen questions he would really like to have answered.

"So, would either of you care to explain to me how exactly it is, that we all ended up here, like this, together? It seems to me you both have at least more of

an idea about it than I do."

"I think, and please correct me Santana if I should be wrong, and oh gosh Kurt you won't be happy at all being reminded of that particular day again

today,but …"

"Let me guess 'The Rachel Berry House Party Trainwreck Extravaganza'!" It is not a question.

"I see 'Cedes still fills you in on really everything going on at McKinley, even the crazy phone calls we all take part in. Glad to hear it Kurt." Santana is

smiling again.

"Yeah. So what about that oh so fantastic night of my life is there that I do not know, yet? I mean as I recall it you two were the ones absolutely hammered,

so…"

"Well," Blaine starts "you have to start drinking, after all, to get that drunk. So I had quite a few drinks with Santana here while you were talking to 'Cedes."

"Okay. So what did you talk about?"


	9. In or Out?

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Nine<strong>

"Oh wow, Blaine. So you really did not tell Kurt anything. Thank you."

"Did not tell me what? Guys, please you are making me crazy here. What is this all about? Why are you not as surprised to see her here as I am, Blaine?"

"I can only explain…"

"Yes, yes. You can only explain part of it, I got that by now." Kurt tries to move the conversation along.

"Okay. So I told Santana, at Rachel's party, that I play not only guitar, but also piano. I did not expect her to reply that she plays as well."

"Don't look so shocked, Kurt. It is not like we ever talked much outside of or even in Glee Club."

"Right, sorry. I just did not expect that."

"There is more that you won't exactly expect." She says in a very small voice, so that the two boys almost do not catch it. Speaking up again she continues

"Anyways, so I told Blaine, that I can play piano, but also, that I had not played in years." Saying this Santana's expression grows rather dark.

Kurt knows this look, from Blaine, from Quinn in the first weeks after she must have found out that she was pregnant, and from all the evenings that he has

spend taking especially long on his skincare routine, not because he does it more thoroughly than on other nights, which is what he has always let his dad

believe. In fact it had been, every single time, because he had kept starring at his own face and drifted off into some especially painful memories.

Kurt takes her hand and without saying a word leads her, closely followed by Blaine, to the space Blaine pointed out earlier.

When they have all settled into the corner - Santana sitting against the wall on which the piano stands right next to them, and Kurt and Blaine settled

against the wall which too many boxes to count are pilled against as well – she looks at the two boys clearly uncertain how to say what she has by the look

of her, Kurt thinks, to get out desperately.

So Kurt, who is the one sitting closer to her, takes both her hands into his. "I know we haven't been that close before, but I would really like to be there for

you if you let me, and Blaine, well from the sound of it, you two already get along better than we ever have, in the past."

With a small laugh Santana continues "Thank you Kurt. Well, as I was saying as a child I had played piano, a lot actually. And Blaine told me about this

amazing teacher he has here. The way you talked about this group, and Miss Bright, but most of all the way you talk about music Blaine, it made me miss

playing so, so much." She pauses with a desperate look on her face. "So when I had sobered up properly, a couple of days after the party and that

horrendous Ke$ha performance we did with the Glee Club, I still had that thought stuck in my mind. Next thing I knew, I was looking up Miss Bright on the

internet, called her, and I guess…here we are."

"It is great you are here Santana." Blaine simply says. "As I told Kurt before, a new face is always welcome here, as long as it is a friendly one."

"Though that is why Kurt looked at me that way when you too stumbled into this room. Not exactly the friendliest face you could imagine, mh Kurt?"

"Well, we have our history Santana." Kurt simply states the fact.

"And there is so much that I really want to apologize for, because you know, there is something that I haven't told you yet, and that Blaine did as it seems

not mention to you either."

"Not my place to tell." Blaine says with absolute certainty.

"I am very grateful Blaine. I did not expect to be able to talk about this in a sober state so soon, I think I only talked to you about my feelings Blaine,

because I was already on my way to getting thoroughly trashed. Anyway, as I was about to say, I got some unexpected help last week. Miss Holiday was

helping out with some more Glee Club stuff, she is a substitute teacher that shows up at our school now and then Blaine, and Brittany really wanted to talk

to someone about it all so…"

Kurt looks slightly puzzled "Wait about what did you guys talk?"

"Do I have to say it out loud? Come on Kurt, you have had your suspicions about Brittany and me for a while now. Right?"

"Yes, but I never thought it was…"

"Well, it is serious Kurt, at least for me. I am gay, Kurt. As gay as you are, and we both know that there is no topping that." She does not give Kurt a

chance to reply at all, she goes straight on, tears pouring down her cheeks, while her eyes stare ahead at the wall behind the boys, unblinking, as if she is

afraid what she will see if she looks directly into Blaine's or Kurt's face "All the snide comments I threw at you, I am so sorry. I was just so scared. I had to

watch what they did to you at that shitty excuse for a school, and I just" she is sobbing now "I could not bring myself to stand up for you, or myself. And I

always thought I had at least Brittany, but she chose Artie over me when I

told her I am in love with her, and…I just…I really needed to be here. To get away from all the drama, and at least try and do something that I know I have

been happy doing once upon a time." There are no more words for what she feels, so she just sits there, her face buried in her hands.

Blaine and Kurt exchange a quick look, then scoot over one on each of her sides. The piano digs into Blaine's right shoulder, but he could not care any less.

"Hey, Santana, it is okay. I am not angry at you, I understand. It took me forever to come out to 'Cedes and my dad. I am so glad and honoured you told

me, because now I can be there for you. Allow me to be there for you, that is all I need you to do for me right now. And of course I accept your apology.

You know, some of your comments were actually almost funny."

Santana snorts "Yeah, sure. As funny as Sue Sylvester is a fluffy pink bunny."

"Hey. Just don't put yourself down any further, because of what has been, okay." Kurt replies.

"Okay."

"So what was that about you knowing how to play piano?" Kurt asks hoping to inject some happiness into this conversation. But he learns within seconds,

that while not being the worst possible move, it certainly is not the best either, as he feels Santana tense up under his touch.

Blaine must have felt it too, judging from the look he gives him.

Blaine thinks he understood where the problem is, because there is something that Santana does not seem to remember having told Blaine in her

half-drunken state. So for the second time this day, it really feels like a déjà vu to Blaine now, he asks in a tone as soft as he can anyhow manage "It is

about her isn't it? Your Mum I mean."

"What did I tell you at that party? Damn, why do I have to be such a whiny drunk." Santana sounds worried and equally annoyed, with herself apparently.

"You said something about her being off her ass on pills."

Kurt does not like what he hears from Blaine, or that it is Blaine telling it, actually. "Santana please talk to us. I am not going to tell you it will solve all your

problems, but it will make you feel better, I can promise that."

"Fine." There is the old Santana, with that one word she makes known she too is still somewhere in there, hopefully not to stay or take over completely

again, Kurt thinks, because he is sure she will definitely shut them out again completely and deny any of this ever happened.


	10. Nice to finally

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, or a piano for that matter.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Ten<strong>

His worries are partly taken away, when Santana continues in a much softer voice.

"I started playing piano when I was about 4. I know, pretty early, but I had fun, and it was all games to begin with. I got so much into it over the years that

by the age of 8, I was already pretty good. That was when my mum for some reason got so stressed out, that she began popping pills like crazy. I never

found out what it really was that made her start – and it was not like I would get answers from either of them just walking up, saying 'Hey dad, mum, so

what's up with mum's drug habit?' - but somehow in my mind this link appeared between her being miserable, and my playing piano. I know fucked up. It

was…I mean, I hardly saw her anyway, she just…at the time I thought she did not want to be around me anymore. Now I understand that it was not at all

that she did not want to, but that she could not. Before she completely retreated from me she used to at least still sit in on my piano lessons, sometimes

even play a little too. I thought the world of her playing back then. You know how kids are, the littlest thing can seem like so much. Today I could not for

the life of me tell you if she really was any good, but in my memories she still is. So maybe there was never such a drastic change in her behavior as I

thought all along. Maybe it was more that I, growing up, began to see things that I just did never before. Either way…she – what to me seemed suddenly –

was in that dazed state every time I got to see her. Her expression was always so empty, and her smiles really not that at all, they were only sad attempts

at something resembling a smile. So, seeing her drugged up like that during my lessons four times a week was just too much to take by the time I turned

nine. I stopped right there and then, maybe thinking in my childish mind that I could stop her being sad if I just gave up that thing that seemed to bring her

just more down. "

"It was not your playing Santana." Blaine says softly.

"I know. I know, but my 9year-old self did not. I mean what would you think, if every time your mother saw you playing piano she would throw you those

sad looks – of course she did it all the time, but I somehow back then noticed especially in my piano lessons – even now at our age it would be though,

getting those looks. Back then it became unbearable. Kurt, you know how much looks alone can hurt. You get them all the time." Blaine frowns at that,

looking over to Kurt, but Kurt only nods slowly and says "I understand Santana. Different kind of looks, but yes, I get what you mean."

The boys give her a moment to breath, both aware that she has worked herself up quite a bit telling them all this.

After a few moments they see a hesitant smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"I missed it so much, all this time. Playing. So when you, Blaine, unknowingly offered me this opportunity to be with people who I could share some love

with, without the pressure and guilt I had felt before, most of all without my parents in any way connected to it, I just…I just had to jump at it. Reclaim

some of my happiness. I must sound crazy."

"No," both boys reply instantly, and it makes her smile wider.

Kurt gives both a quick glance then says "So today I get to listen not only to Blaine playing, but you as well. You know he has not told me what he is going

to play. I suspect you cannot help me out with that either?"

At that Blaine smiles, and leans over to whisper something in Santana's ear.

"So you can tell her but not me? Not fair you two." Kurt grumbles.

"That is a great choice Blaine. You will so love it Kurt."

That said Santana stands up and walks over to the piano.

The boys are about to follow her when she holds up her hands, shaking her head "No, you two just stay there. It is really very comfy back here Blaine, you

are absolutely right. So you just stay right there, get cozy again…or well, finally, since I don't imagine it was that great having crying-her-eyes-out-me

sitting in between you all this time." She pauses. "When you came in I was just about to do a final run-through of my piece for this evening. I mean you are

free to leave of course, but you are more than welcome to stay. Maybe give me some advice?"

So they stay, and they listen, and Kurt watches as an expression so soft and relaxed slowly begins to form on Santana's face…in that moment she looks

nothing like that angry girl in a cheerleading outfit that he has never been quite able to read. And Kurt smiles thinking to himself 'So that is Santana.'

When she finishes Kurt lets go of Blaine – who he had been holding, and who had been holding him all through Santana's piece – stands, walks over to

Santana, and pulls her into a hug "Nice to finally meet you Santana Lopez."


	11. Performers

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eleven<strong>

By 7:49pm Kurt is sitting in the audience, which is mostly made up of what looks to Kurt like, and he is surprised to find that, friends of various performers

rather than families.

He has met all the performers in the course of the afternoon, and hardly anybody in the audience seems to resemble them either in appearance or in

mannerism.

Kurt knows that those are not necessarily deciding criteria when it comes to family, and he has to think back to when Britt dated him and he dated…. No, it

does not even feel right thinking it. He had after all never really been in it emotionally.

'I wonder if Britt really felt anything for me?' Kurt having truly never considered this before feels a little ashamed when he is hit with the realization that he

really only does so just now, a year later.

'I really need to apologize to Britt' Kurt thinks to himself. He also feels he will have to thank her, because back when they were together, for lack of a better

word, Britt told him something that has stayed with him ever since.

During one of their first attempts at making out, he had suddenly completely pulled out from under her, which had left a surprised Britt hovering propped up

on her, as Kurt thought back then astonishingly strong arms, over a then empty bedspread. When Britt eventually looked up, she had found Kurt sitting on

the edge of his bed, shaking slightly, and tears streaming out of his unblinking eyes. She had carefully scooted over to him and just sat there, making sure

not to touch him, for which he had been really grateful. Simply starring at the floor, Kurt had started blabbing something about being sorry for doing it all

wrong.

Britt had just sat there and listened to him ramble, really not making any sense, not even to himself; she had held Kurt a little after a while.

When he finally had had nothing more to say Britt went to sit on the floor in front of Kurt, who was still up on the bed. She was on her knees, and Kurt felt a

great surge of panic as she reached up to him. After all Britt was known for her sex drive, and Kurt had overheard enough obscene stories from the guys in

the locker room in that short while he had spent as a member of the football team. Those stories had left little to the imagination, Kurt suspected mainly,

because most of them were all imagination. Back then, when he had thought it never possible he could ever be in any kind of physical relationship with a

girl, ever, he had found himself surprised and a little impressed if he was honest, at these Neanderthals even having the brains and creativity to make up

anything of the kind. That very moment however details of said stories had come back to him that his memory really should either have had let go of, or

buried somewhere deep, deep down in his subconscious by then. He had felt Britt's hands on his, and had been relieved beyond all measure when she had

just looked up at him keeping hold of his hands and said "You know it is okay to be scared. I mean there is really no reason to, but it happens. I get scared

all the time. Last Halloween a goblin got mixed in with my candy, and it scared me and Lord Tubbington when it just jumped out right at us, when we were

about to divide the candy between the two of us."

Kurt remembers with a smile how he had just stared at her hearing her say that, before mumbling something like "Right", and how he just did not want to

disappoint his dad.

After that though she had said something that makes a whole lot of sense, and Kurt can now only explain it with all the confusion that had been going on in

his head at the time, that he had not broken it off with Britt right there and then "Family are the people who love you no matter what, and accept you fully

as you are."

He really has to, wants to apologize to Britt next time he sees her.

Sure, he had been preoccupied with the to him rather unpleasant idea of straight sex in many shapes and forms back then, but how he could ever think Britt

would try something on him when he had just been crying his eyes out right next to her. Britt would never ever be that insensitive.

So looking around the theater once more, he thinks of Britt's words, and by that definition of family, which suites his dad just fine, he thinks happily, a lot of

these people seem, judging by the excited looks on their faces, much more family to the performers than any actually so-called family members might be.

On top of it all, Kurt remembers with a twinge in his stomach, relatives can often be spotted because of that unease, that somehow surrounds them, and

give away, no matter how bright the smiles on their faces appear to be, that they do not really want to be there, but make the appearance more out of a

sense of obligation.

Kurt, therefore is very happy, to sit in this particular audience. 'The only thing' he thinks to himself 'is, I have definitely been thinking too much, way, way

too much about straight sex related activities lately, especially today, and especially considering it is the day Blaine and I finally kissed.'

And with that, his mind finally makes it possible for him to push those locker room talks far, far to the back of his mind. Where they would probably have

stayed forever, that is if Finn and Puck had not taken up talking about their sex lives way too much, after Finn finally got something to talk about, in senior

year.

Before Kurt's thoughts have the chance to drift back to that wonderful moment with Blaine in the car just a couple of hours ago, the lights in the audience

are turned off and Miss Bright walks out onto the stage.


	12. Audiences

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twelve<strong>

Miss Bright unmistakably aware that no one in the audience has come to see her, let alone listen to her give any kind of speech, simply welcomes everyone

and wishes them a wonderful time.

Santana walks out on stage first, seating herself behind the piano.

Kurt is surprised and asks Blaine about it later, who explains to him, that it is in a way a tradition in the group to have the member who is the newest

edition to Miss Bright's body of students perform in the first spot on their first night with them. It is really a rather sweet gesture the way Blaine explains it

"…that way Santana does not have to linger around backstage all night slowly turning into a nervous wreck, but gets her performance out of the way and

can join the audience afterwards, so that she can enjoy everyone else's performances. After all, she has never heard them play."

Santana looks a little more nervous than she did while playing only for Blaine and Kurt, and so it takes her a little longer into her piece before that relaxed

look on her face, that Kurt already loves so much, appears.

But from the very first step she takes onto the stage to the very last when walking off to warm applause, she looks happy. Seeing her like that, especially

after their conversation earlier, means a great deal to Kurt.

When the next performance by a very young looking red-haired girl comes to a close and the onlookers begin to clap, he sees Santana walk down into the

audience.

She clearly has waited to do so backstage as not to interrupt her fellow performer in any way.

Spotting Kurt, after giving the audience a quick scan with her eyes, she smiles at him brightly, and walks over. "Mind if I sit next to you?"

"Of course not, I would in fact very much like that!" Kurt says smiling back at her.

"How did it feel?" he adds turning to the girl now seated next to him.

Santana beams at him "Amazing. I bet you could tell without asking. I just can't get that stupid smirk to leave my face right now."

"I am so happy for you Santana. Really." At that Santana takes Kurt's right hand in both of her own squeezing it affectionately.

"Is it okay if we keep holding hands for a while? I miss it so much now that Britt…" Santana breaks off.

"Of course." Kurt replies smiling warmly at her, even placing his left hand on top of hers.

So they sit there like this for the next two performances, after letting go to applaud the second performer to follow Santana, they only intertwine a hand

each, just because it allows for a bit more comfortable sitting position.

When after one more piano piece, and a saxophone performance, Blaine walks out onto the stage Santana is at first a bit surprised to feel Kurt's hand leave

hers. Quickly catching on she smiles to herself, 'Of course Kurt is wringing his hands nervously right now,' she remembers 'he has no idea what is about to

come'.

She reaches one hand over to cover Kurt's nervously fidgeting pair of hands gently, and says "Kurt, maybe you should calm down a little, we don't want you

to start hyperventilating and pass out in the middle of Blaine's performance."

He gives her a quick smile, then immediately fixes his attention back onto the boy now sitting behind the piano.

It is only a couple of seconds into Blaine's performance that Santana feels Kurt - who has been squirming slightly in his seat ever since Blaine walked out on

stage - grow strangely still under her touch. As she looks over she sees a pained look on his face that she has not been expecting at all.

When she asked if he is okay, he waves it off.

There is not much she can do right now, she realizes, so she simply keeps holding on to Kurt's hands, for which he seems grateful.

Blaine's performance ends, and Kurt's applause is not as enthusiastic as she had originally expected.

"Kurt?"

"I'm fine." He says, but his voice breaks, and when he turned over to her to offer her a reassuring smile she sees a pain in his eyes that she does not

recognize. She gives him a quick hug.

When Blaine jumps of stage, clearly not going to wait one more performance backstage before joining them, Kurt lets out a laugh, but grows serious again

very quickly.

As Blaine walks over to sit next to Santana Kurt is secretly thankful he has chosen the edge of a row to sit in. The longer he can put of looking Blaine

straight into the face, after the performance he has just sprung on him, the better.

Wait, does Blaine even know what this song means to him? Had he ever 'Yes, yes' Kurt thinks to himself 'I clearly remember mentioning to him that this

song is meaningful to me. I never told him what it really means to me though, did I?'

Only now, having been lost in thought completely for a couple of minutes, he notices that Blaine is suddenly sitting right next to him and is just about to

reach out to take one of Kurt's hands.

He and Santana must have switched places. Kurt pulls away instinctively and snaps his head in a rapid movement to look at Blaine.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

"I just…can we just listen to the rest of the performances. Please?"

"Sure." Blaine says with what Kurt recognizes as concern written all over his boyfriend's face.


	13. Words

Disclaimer: Sadly, I still have not managed to get my hands on Glee. I do not own Glee. I will let you know as soon as it happens though, for sure.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Thirteen<strong>

After a short break - which Kurt spents neither Blaine nor Santana know where exactly, except for not with them – and four more performances, Santana,

Blaine and Kurt find themselves walking, together, out to the parking lot.

Both Blaine and Santana see the expression of intense distress on Kurt's face.

Whatever it is that has upset him in the first place is very clearly still preoccupying his every thought.

Santana who came here in her own car, is hoping Blaine will know how to get through to Kurt, once she is gone. So she makes her goodbyes to the two

boys quick.

"I hope I won't have to wait until the next Rachel Berry Party to get to see you again. There are much better occasions, you know." She says pulling Blaine

into a heartfelt hug.

"Kurt?" she says softly, while letting go of Blaine and turning to him. She cannot tell whether he, right now, is comfortable with being hugged, so she gently

places her right hand over both of his and gives them a light squeeze.

"Call me, okay." No response. "Okay?"

"Oh, yes. Sure Santana. Sorry, a little lost in thought here." He offers an unconvincing smile, his eyes immediately darting back to the ground, where he has

been staring pretty much ever since Blaine took his hand leading the way out of the theatre.

Blaine, at first, wonders how Kurt manages to walk like that at all, without bumping into something with every other step he takes. The realization is a very

sad one when Blaine rummaging around his own mind finds the answer.

'I have never seen him walk around Dalton like that. I am sure I have seen him walk like that though…' The memory hits Blaine hard '… at McKinley. Of

course that first time, when he needed me because Karofsky had…' Blaine does not want to think about this, not on the day they have shared their first kiss,

but it is necessary '…I had always thought he had walked this way that day, because he felt so very deeply hurt by what had happened.' Only now Blaine

realizes it had been to hide. It is Kurt's way of disappearing. 'Making yourself invisible in a crowd of people most of which anyhow do not know of, or care for

your existence.' Blaine is almost crying now.

He promises himself to let Kurt never go back to that. First though he has to deal with, strike that, they have to deal together with whatever makes Kurt

want to disappear into thin air right now.

Blaine is about to reach for Kurt's other hand to hold it tightly, to comfort him, to let him know he is as little alone now as he had been with the Karofsky

situation, when Santana takes Blaine's jacket sleeve and pulls him the few steps left towards her car.

Kurt, if he notices does not care to follow, but he is in such a dazed state, that Santana doubts he has even properly registered it.

While opening the door and getting in, she half-whispers to Blaine "Get him to talk, okay!" It is not a question. "The last time I saw him like this was when

his father had the heart attack. If it is anything like then, he will try and shut every one out at first, and it is very likely that he will get extremely angry with

you when you attempt to talk to him about him withdrawing from you. He is not used to people caring. No one but his father ever gave a fuck about him for

so long, that he thinks he has to do everything on his own. That includes dealing with memories. And believe me Kurt is not short of bad ones. So when

something is eating away at him he pushes everyone away whichever way he knows how. Don't let him turn you away, he really needs someone right now.

He might not know it himself yet, but he does, need you. Desperately."

Blaine nods, with a sad look on his face. Which prompts Santana to say "Hey, don't you start feeling sorry for yourself, or him, here. You know as well as I

do, probably better, that he does not like when people feel sorry for him. Just talk to him, about what is going on in that fashionable head of his."

Santana cannot help the smile that appears on her face when at her words she sees Blaine's look change to one of determination.

Feeling a little better about the whole situation she finally closes her car door, rolls down the window and shouts a final "See you boys." their way, as she is

driving out of the parking lot and onto the street.

Blaine walks back over to Kurt, who is still planted firmly to the same spot Santana had dragged Blaine from only moments ago.

Blaine places his right hand with a soft touch on Kurt's left shoulder. "Hey. Let's get to the car."

When Kurt responds with a barely visible nod, Blaine lets his hand gently trail down Kurt's shoulder and forearm, never breaking contact, until the palm of

his right hand is pressing softly against Kurt's left. When he has his hand closed around Kurt's they walk over to the car, and Blaine only lets go when Kurt

gets in, quickly rushing to the driver's side of his car as not to leave Kurt completely alone with his thoughts for any longer than absolutely necessary.

'What's up babe? No.' 'Can I do anything for you? No.' Everything Blaine can think of to say while getting into the driver's seat and starting the engine

sounds in Blaine's ears already so soaked in pity, that he – still thinking of what Santana has just told him about Kurt – does not want to risk it.

Blaine wants to be able to hold Kurt, like he had this morning in Warbler's practice. Grudgingly he admits to himself that he will have to wait to really talk to

Kurt until they reach Dalton. 'That way, if I upset him, I will at least be able to hold him, and let him cry into my shoulder all night. I could not bear having

to sit here, driving, while he sits next to me in tears.'

So they drive in silence for a while.

Blaine only registers that Kurt has snapped out of his own thoughts, at some point, when he hears Kurt's voice through the state of his own thought

provoked daze.

"Blaine, can you pull over?"

It takes Blaine's mind a moment to come up with a response. "Sure," and with that Blaine does.

The car parked, Blaine turns to look at Kurt. He sees an expression on the other boy's face that he can still not place and it frustrates him.

"Emh…"

"Yes." Blaine has no idea really what else he can say, and is very grateful when Kurt begins to speak.

"Blaine, I…Can we…would you…"

Blaine places one hand reassuringly on Kurt's which are not for the first time today slightly trembling and nervously fidgeting with each other. He can feel

Kurt's body move with the deep, steadying and surprisingly silent breath he takes. And Blaine is certain that had he not felt it, he would not have noticed it

at all.

He is reminded of Kurt's way of walking with his eyes fixed to the ground, wondering if this ability to do so many every day things with what seems like such

graze in its quietness, has in fact been brought about by all the bullying. It certainly reveals to the knowing onlooker, that Kurt knows that sometimes the

best thing you can do to survive, is – if you cannot bear or do not want to adapt and in the process lose at least part of yourself, if lucky only part of

yourself – to turn invisible in every way possible.

'Now is not the time for that!'

"Now is not the time for what, Blaine?" Too late he registers that he must have said that out loud just now, but then thinks 'It is for the best.' Taking a deep

breath himself now, "I don't want you to hide from me Kurt." Blaine says reaching out and gently tilting Kurt's chin up "Kurt, please, I beg you, I would get

on my knees to beg you if there was room in here, talk to me. I…you might think it too early to say so, but I, I think there is no more perfect occasion to

say this to someone than to let them know that you would not only never want to hurt them…or…or see them hurt, but…. Damn it Kurt, I could …I can't bear

the thought of you ever getting hurt again. I need you to know that, and I don't know how I will ever be able to proof that to you except… with saying this. I

love you, Kurt."

Kurt, at this, finally looks up into Blaine's eyes. And Blaine sees doubt in them and…'is that hope?'

Kurt's lips are parting slightly. He is obviously trying to say something but cannot find the words, no matter how determined he searches his own mind. To

Blaine the question has been obvious ever since as their eyes met moments ago.

Even through all the haze of doubt and slight confusion Blaine knows what it is Kurt needs right now. Really it is not a question at all, more a delicate

request, too fragile even to be wrapped in words; they might shatter the moment.

Kurt needs the boy who has just declared his love for him to repeat these words looking right into his eyes. Not only so Kurt can see all the promises that lie

in these words reflected in Blaine's eyes, but also so Blaine can see the sincerity of Kurt's own words sparkling in his own eyes.

So when Blaine, clearly understanding what this is about to Kurt, softly whispers "Say it again?"

Kurt can only find it in himself to nod.

"I love you, Kurt." The smile that breaks across Kurt's face instantly, and the way he reaches out to take both of Blaine's hands firmly in his own are the

most amazing thing Blaine has ever seen, or felt.

Intently staring back into Blaine's eyes Kurt too says "I love you, Blaine."

Blaine did not know his heart can beat this fast.

The next moment Blaine is holding Kurt, and Kurt is holding Blaine.

No more words are exchanged.

No more words are required.

Both needing nothing more than the feel of the other boy's body moving in his arms with his breathing.

Blaine has found the right words to get through to Kurt, without even trying.

When they both reluctantly break apart, still holding on to each other's hands, Blaine is the first to speak. "You wanted to ask something? I mean that was

what it sounded like."

"Yes. Yes I did." Kurt is quick to answer, which makes Blaine smile again, because clearly Kurt is now less reluctant to talk then just a few minutes ago.

"I know it is a long drive, but would you mind driving me to Lima?"

"If you need to go there right now, of course I will take you!"

"This isn't just about me, I…"

"Is this about my performance? The song I chose to play to you?"

"Yes." Kurt hesitantly admits. "How did you…"

"Santana told me about your reaction to it."

"That obvious, mh?" Kurt says with a half-smile and his forehead in lines.

"If I go by what Santana told me, kind of, yes. I am sorry."

"What for?"

"Playing that song without asking your permission. It is just, you sounded so excited when you told me about your love for it."

Kurt nods, then adds "I don't blame you, you could not know this. After all I did not explain it. I see your face right now, and it only reminds me that you

have just no idea what I am saying. That is why we, you and I, need to drive to Lima. Tonight. "

"Okay."

"Wow, you really must love me. No questions asked. Is that a policy we can still keep alive, you think, even when our 80th wedding anniversary rolls

around?"

"So honey, tell me again, did we have a spring or summer wedding? I never seem able to recall properly anymore." Blaine jokes, imitating the shaky,

slightly off pitch voice of a very old man.

Kurt only rolls his eyes in response. "Anyway," Kurt continues, drawing the word out in a slightly mock annoyed tone "yes, I want to spend the rest of my

life with you, but for now I just need to show you something, and it cannot wait till next month, or next week, not even tomorrow."

Blaine is serious again "So let us drive to Lima, otherwise we will never make it back to Dalton."

"Actually, would you mind if we stayed at my house in Lima tonight? I mean, it is an excruciatingly long drive, and I am sure my dad won't mind as long as

you stay in the guest room. It is a Friday after all, and we are not due back at Dalton until the late afternoon tomorrow for that meeting in preparation for

Regionals, to finalize the set list…and I am rambling now, so will you PLEASE already have the decency to stop me."

But Blaine only sits there chuckling for a moment "You are so cute when you ramble. I have never seen you ramble before. So cute."

"Is that a yes?"

"It is."

Back on the road, the silence sets back in. It is a different kind of silence though, a comfortable one, that only shifts back into something different when

they get closer to Lima. Blaine can feel Kurt's left hand tensing in his own. It might not be the best idea to drive with just one hand on the wheel, but simply

for noticing this, he is very glad he has not let go of Kurt's hand any sooner. Now though he does for a moment, putting on the soundtrack to Kurt's favorite

musical, in the hope that it will relax him a little. Blaine briefly smiles, reminded of how well he knows his boyfriend, when at the first sound Kurt's grip

relaxes the slightest bit.

'I need to get him to talk it all out. And if being here in his own home in Lima, surrounded by his family helps him to be comfortable enough to do so I am

more than happy to be here.' Blaine thinks to himself as he pulls into the driveway of Kurt's home.


	14. Just lean back and

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, or any songs mentioned.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** So, I noticed, re-reading my last post, that I slipped quite a bit in the tense department, I will fix it, as soon as I find the time.

With most of the chapter's to come being mainly in dialogue from, I decided to write all of it in present tense from here on out. It not only stops me from

writing with appalling inconsistency, but also makes the writing feel more alive, to me at least.

Please let me know in a couple of words how you feel about me making this change. I sincerely hope it won't spoil the read for you, who have stuck with me

all this time. I love you all! Thank you for encouraging me to write by reading :)

**Chapter Fourteen**

'The last time I was here…' Blaine thinks, his heart sinking '…I insulted Kurt, and he made me leave. Oh I hope this time goes different.' He shoots Kurt a

glance that is meant to be reassuring, but in the same moment remembers something that he has not yet found a chance to ask, and slight panic, or at

least nervousness, must be showing on his face now, because next, Kurt asks "What's wrong?"

"Oh, emh, nothing, I just remembered your dad, he…do we tell him about… us?" Blaine gestures, his nerves obvious now, between the two of them.

"I would like to, if it is okay with you." Kurt answers in a loving voice, and suddenly the atmosphere in the car is filled with calm. And as Blaine feels Kurt

press an open-mouthed kiss to his forehead, Blaine lets out a content sigh and says in nothing more than a whisper "Should I be worried that you already

know me so well, that you know exactly what to do and say to make me relax, despite us not even having been together 24hours?"

"Oh believe me, in my mind we have been together much, much longer already."

"Really? When…?"

Kurt blushes admitting this "I first thought I could really fall for you when you came to comfort me when I thought Pavarotti was ill." Kurt adds in an

afterthought, "Strange, the part that bird has played in furthering our relationship. I miss him badly."

Blaine places his right hand on Kurt's left cheek and draws soft circles on it with his thumb "That long?"

"Well, I really fell hard when we sang _Baby It's Cold Outside_."

"Kurt. I think I did too. I was just …I am much less brave than you. I was scared. Although now, being able to be close to you like this, I really don't know

why."

"I am glad Blaine. Ecstatic in fact you decided to let me in." Kurt said smiling and leaning into the touch of Blaine's hand still on his cheek.

"Shall we go inside?" Kurt asks in an almost dreamy voice.

Blaine smiles in agreement.

So they both step out of the car and make their way to the front door. Blaine feels slightly more nervous again when he hears Kurt fumbling with his keys,

to find the right one. 'Why does Kurt have so many keys?' Blaine decides to file that question away as one to be asked later. Right now he needs to collect

his thoughts 'Oh gosh, what if Burt reacts badly to us being together? Maybe he thinks I just want to use Kurt for sex? It must look like I waited for him to

be informed about sex before I asked him out! Wait, was it me who asked him out? To the piano recital, yes…but as friends, and things just…just happened

from there. Right?'

Kurt by now having found the right silvery object to open the door Blaine is still standing in front of with a, as Kurt thinks, rather funny expression on his

face asks through a laugh "Lost in thought, again?"

He offers Blaine a hand, which said boy gladly takes, and Kurt leads the way into the house.

"Dad? Carole?...Finn?"

"Kurt? Is that you?" His father's voice comes from the space Kurt knows to be the living room.

"…and Blaine." Kurt says in a more quiet voice, while leading Blaine into the direction of the living room.

"Oh, hello Blaine," Carole is the first to speak as the two boys turn the corner.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Hummel."

"Kid, how many times. It's Burt to you."

"…and Carole." Kurt's step-mother adds with a warm smile.

"Sorry, I keep forgetting. I just, my dad insists on me calling him Sir when other people are around, so I guess it is just…I mean it is so nice that you …it is

just…I am not used to people being so warm with each other. Oh damn, did I just say that. I…" By now Blaine is wringing for words, and Kurt can feel his

boyfriend's palm more and more sweaty in his own.

Burt has not missed Kurt's glance down to their firmly intertwined hands, so now his eyes are darting between the two boys' faces and their hands, as if to

say 'What is that about then?' Judging from the smile now firmly fixed on Carole's face she has noticed it too.

Kurt is still looking at Blaine, about to reach a hand out to provide him with some comfort by resting it on his cheek. Blaine though, catching Carole's and

Burt's eyes, has noticed their looks and so… "Burt, Carole." Kurt is taken out of his own train of thoughts by Blaine clearly addressing his parents "I...Kurt

and I …"

Kurt has caught on by now "Dad, Mum,…" It feels strangely good to be able to say that again for the boy, Kurt never had thought it possible, but here he is

with his boyfriend, another thing he had never thought truly possible "…I like you to officially met my boyfriend, Blaine Anderson."

Carole jumps up with joy, and pulls both boys into her arms "I am so happy for you two."

Even Burt is on his feet now. It might be the little affectionate ramble that Blaine gave just a couple of minutes ago which makes everyone act so welcoming

towards him, but he truly hopes it is more than just that.

"Blaine you are always welcome here." Burt says walking over and placing a reassuring hand on the boy's shoulder. "But why don't you two sit down, we

should talk about all of this for a moment."

"No need to worry Blaine, I promise." Burt adds when he feels Blaine tense under the hand still resting on the boy's shoulder.

Kurt just smiles at his parents, then Blaine, as he begins to lead him over to a very comfortable looking armchair, which has clearly been designed by it's

maker with just one occupant in mind though.

Kurt turns to see the confused look on Blaine's face, who is very obviously not comfortable with snuggling into the chair with Kurt in front of Carole and

Burt. To Blaine's further confusion Kurt only shakes his head and laughs when their gazes meet, before plopping himself down on the thick, fluffy, warm

carpet in front of the chair, lightly pulling on Blaine's hand still holding his, to signal him to follow his example.

He can hear both Burt and Carole snigger, by now, at the still slightly awkward interaction between the boys, who are clearly both so new to all of this,

being in love, being…in a relationship.

Carole feels Burt relax under the touch of her left hand on his right upper thigh. She meets his gaze, and knows it is comforting for Burt to see Kurt and

Blaine move around each other with so much hesitation.

He had told Carole weeks ago that he suspected there might be something emerging between the two in front of them, something much more than

friendship.

Blaine eventually is settled in next to Kurt, and the confusion only leaves his face when Kurt tells him to "Just lean back, it is really comfy, I love sitting like

this, and you can still work at the coffee table this way as well. But mostly it is the most comfortable seat in the whole house."

As Blaine leans back he lets out a contented sigh "Wow."

Kurt takes this opportunity to, unnoticed by Blaine, scoot a little closer to his clearly still rather nervous boyfriend.

Seeing the happy faces of all other three people in the room, and therefore feeling bold, Kurt closes the tiny gap he left between them before, and rests his

head on Blaine's shoulder. "Wow indeed. I never thought it could be any more comfortable, but with you here it is, so much."

Knowing this display of affection would never be deemed appropriate at his parent's house Blaine stiffens, and it takes him a deep breath and the inner

whisper of 'Courage' to look up, just to see smiles on Burt's and Carole's faces.

Visibly relaxing, he intertwines both of his hands with Kurt's, which come to rest on the boys' outstretched legs, which are pressed as close together as the

rest of their sides touching, silently reassuring each other that it is true that both of them are there, together.

Kurt briefly lifts his head to lock eyes with Blaine and smile at him; his hands giving Blaine's a loving, reassuring squeeze.

Kurt speaks softly "It's okay. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Well that is good to know boys." Burt's voice takes them out of the moment, and both boys blush.

"So how did this happen then?" Burt adds a moment later. "Not that we are that surprised. And Blaine, Kurt, I just want you to be honest about it all. Okay?

Then we will all get along just fine. I hope."

That last remark has Kurt laughing "He is just a big softy Blaine, it will all be fine."

"You know me too well, kiddo." Burt laughs. "But back on track, please." Burt reminds them.

"Oh, yes, so. Well you know how upset I was about my bird…"

"Pavarotti." Burt interjects.

"…yes Pavarotti, dying. So Blaine offered to cheer me up by taking me out to a piano recital he plays in. We got there, and started talking and it just sort

of… happened. And before you even ask, we both kind of made the first move. Well, I guess me more than Blaine. He just…he gets me dad. He always has."

Kurt says, happy tears building slowly behind his eyes, and his voice clearly betraying the calm he tries to project.

"Blaine?"

"Yes S…I mean, Burt."

"You love my son, I know that. I only ask of you to be good to him. And Kurt I ask the same of you towards Blaine."

Kurt gives a sincere nod. So does Blaine.

"Keep talking, don't push each other. Be safe, and read those pamphlets, both of you. I know I got them from you Blaine, but I still want to make sure

you…"

"Wait WHAT?" Kurt almost shouts, making everyone jump just a little. "What do you mean Blaine…"

"Blaine has not told you about coming to me, encouraging me to give you 'The Talk'?" Burt asks.

"I only truly realized how I feel about Kurt today, and I did not want him to think it was all about sex, like I feared you might Burt, because of me coming to

see you…and I would of course have told him , eventually,…and…I am sorry Kurt." Blaine says with a pleading expression on his face.

But before Kurt can say anything Burt replies "Blaine, I have seen you two interact on several occasions, but especially tonight, and that just makes it

impossible to ever think such a thing. "

Burt now turned his eyes on his son "Kurt, Blaine stopped by at the garage last week, and he told me he was concerned for your future safety, considering

your lack of knowledge about sex and all it entails. You know Kurt, our actual Talk made me realize how right he had been to bring it up."

"Blaine, why did you not come to me?" Kurt asks, hurt in his voice.

"I did, remember? We tried to talk and…well, we did not seem to get anywhere. And Kurt, even though I did not know it at the time, I was already falling

head over heels for you, and I just, I wanted you to be safe. I needed to make sure you knew how to protect yourself in case I…"

"…you what? Blaine?"

"In case you would not want to be around me anymore, after screwing it all up so badly with Rachel, and on Valentine's Day; or in case I just would not be

around anymore for some reason; or if you chose someone else to be with. I know, it seems insane, that I had all that floating around in my head, and still

could not admit to myself how much I wanted you to be my boyfriend. I guess I am just not good at showing affection, or admitting to having genuine

feelings for someone. Enthusiasm and excitement, yes, I can project those, easily, you see me around the other Warblers and on stage, but that is nothing

that really gets to me personally. You mean so much to me. My family just…"

Kurt practically throws himself around Blaine's neck and is now holding the other boy - who is clearly close to tears - firmly, reassuringly to his chest.

Burt lets out a sigh, and speaks up "Yes, that was actually something, well, actually 'The Thing', that I want to talk to you two about most."

"What dad?" Kurt says with a weary look, both boys pulling out of the hug, momentarily busying themselves with thoroughly intertwining their hands again.

"I need to know Kurt is safe when he is with you, Blaine. And while I trust you, both of you,…" Burt takes a deep breath and hesitates, not knowing how to

say this without potentially hurting or upsetting at least one very likely both of the boys sitting in front of him.

But judging by the pained expression on Blaine's face Burt does not have to make anything clearer to the curly-haired boy holding his boyfriend's hands a

little tighter now, afraid he will have to let go forever after what is about to come.

"Dad?" Kurt looks very worried now. "What are you saying?"


	15. The Idea of Losing You

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Glee, in any way. In fact Glee pretty much owns me 24/7.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifteen<strong>

In this moment Blaine knows clearer than ever before why he has been scared to truly be with Kurt. Why it is that he created all those distractions that

every time just made him feel sick as soon as he gave himself the time to think them through. Afterwards.

'I really have to stop and think from now on before I do something major. Why do I have to be so impulsive? Was I impulsive today, getting together with

Kurt? NO! Kurt is no mistake. I have already spent too much time trying to convince myself that Kurt might be better off without me, when my parents are

the problem, not I.'

Blaine is taken out of his reverie when Burt finds his voice again.

"Blaine, you told me you came to me, in part at least, because you wish you were as close to your dad as I am to Kurt, and how you would want him to talk

to you, about sex and so on, if you did not think he had secretly tried to turn you straight, more than once."

Burt had hesitated to bring it up, mainly because he does not know how much of this will be news to Kurt. Burt wishes he could read minds looking at Kurt

right now.

Carole had clearly not known about any of this, yet, if the sharp intake of air that just came from her side of the couch is any reliable indication.

Blaine has grown completely still next to Kurt, and 'Damn it, when has this all become about me, didn't we come here because Kurt was upset.'

"Blaine?"

However, it is Blaine who is now sitting on the living room floor in the Hummel's home and at the soft whisper of his own name from Kurt's lips is currently

coming apart in his boyfriend's arms.

It takes mere seconds before he is sobbing deeply into Kurt's shoulder. "I can't." He whispers to Kurt.

"Blaine." This time it is Burt speaking. "Blaine, I, We need to know how bad it really is with your parents."

"Honey," Carole says in a soothing voice. "You are safe with us."

Unsure if her words have reached the boy in her step-son's arms she stands up and walks over to them, only to kneel next to Blaine, putting her hand softly

on his back, rubbing comforting circles into it, hoping it will calm him enough at least to stop the sobs wracking his body.

His next words make clear that none of what Carole said, just moments ago, has gotten through to him "I can't. Please don't make me leave Kurt. I

cannot…I cannot lose him."

Burt's eyes widen in shock when he realizes what Blaine has taken his words to mean. Looking at Kurt, he sees pure horror written all over his son's face,

and silent tears streaming down.

"Dad?" The word is no more than a pleading whisper.

It breaks Burt's heart to see his son looking so helpless.

"Blaine, no, no! I would never ask you to do that. Look at me, Blaine. Please, just, look at me when I say this."

Blaine slowly lifts his gaze to meet Burt's eyes.

'Dad looks even more serious then back when he gave me 'The Talk'.' Kurt thinks, before pulling his main focus back to the boy still slightly trembling in his

arms.

"Blaine. I need Kurt and You to be safe. I never would even suggest for you to leave him because of who your parents are, but I can only…" He offers Carole

a quick smile, as she sits back down next to him, and gently places one hand reassuringly on top of Burt's folded hands, as he speaks and leans slightly

forward towards the boys across from him, his elbows resting on his upper thighs "…We can only be there for you, protect you, both, if you let us in. I

understand if you have been hesitant, afraid you will scare Kurt away with the whole truth, but Carole and I need to know especially now that you two are

together."

"I can handle it Blaine." Kurt ads in a soft voice. "I know you and your dad don't get along, at all. Please let me be there for you like you were for me when

Karofsky…you know."

Burt adds in an afterthought "Last week, at my garage, what you said, it sounded like you really want and need someone to talk to. Please except my, our

offer of that."

"You can talk to me Honey, if there is something that you just can't bring yourself to say to Burt or Kurt, any time."

The first thing that comes out of Blaine's mouth is not that much of a surprise, but how broken, cold and bitter his voice sounds saying it, even he himself is

taken aback by that "I wish my mother had said that to me, just once."

And with that the flow of words can be stopped as little as all the tears still streaming down the broken boys face "She is always there, just never for me. My

dad when he is there just…." He gasps for air "You know, the one childhood memory I have, the one thing I think of when people talk about their childhoods,

laughing and exchanging fun stories? Waking up to the sound of my parents screaming from the top of their lungs at each other, about some banality, or…or

about me. I feel nothing but guilt thinking about my childhood. They made me feel like a mistake, like that stupid inconvenience that they have to put up

with now, which as well only I am to blame for, of course. I asked them to be at Dalton you know, just to get further away from them. When I was really

little I always wanted siblings, but when I grew older and learned about…began to understand what they had truly done to me, I was glad there was no one

else who had to endure them. My father hit me, maybe twice in my life. Does not sound that bad, right? I mean things happen, right? Well, not if you know

the truth behind this."

Blaine is shaking so violently now, from rage or fear no one can tell anymore, that Kurt keeps having to reposition his grip on Blaine's hand as not to have it

slip out of his.

The last thing Kurt - even scared as he is - wants right now, is for Blaine to feel alone in this, so he tightens his grip until his knuckles turn white.

"My dad made sure, I would never have anything against him, or how he told me once when I tried to confront him about what he did to me 'Tell me Blaine,

tell me, what have I possibly done wrong? After all, I was never around.'" Blaine's voice imitating his father's with so much hurt and hate makes Kurt flinch

badly, and it is only now that Blaine grows aware of the looks on the faces of those sweet people who have asked nothing of him but to allow them to be

there for him; who have done nothing but be welcoming and warm; who are so full of the kind of love Blaine just does not, cannot know or understand;

fears badly he will never be able to fully understand or…feel.


	16. It's up to you

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee,I do not own Glee, I so do not own Glee...and I still wonder if Hermione really cannot draw. Does anyone know? Emma Watson apparently paints in her spare time.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: WARNING! **There is talk of child abuse in here. So PLEASE be aware of that before you start reading this chapter. Please DON'T READ if it might trigger you. This is also the reason why I changed the rating for the story, better safe than…well, you know.

**Chapter Sixteen**

He quickly clasps both his hands over his mouth.

The slightly muffled sound of a strand of apologizes though can still be heard surprisingly clear.

"Oh my gosh. I am sorry, I am so sorry." Blaine says over and over.

Kurt is holding him again, instantly adding his own stream of soothing whispers to the sounds escaping his boyfriend's mouth "Shh, Love. It's okay. I am

here."

Eventually, after several minutes of both boys quietly resting in each other's arms, Blaine continues in a much calmer voice than anything he has said

before.

"My father was hardly ever around, but he…" and Blaine stops dead for a moment as if afraid he might trip and fall over his own memories "…he talked my

mother into doing his dirty work for him."

"Oh Honey, no." Carole gasps, unable to contain the horror she feels any longer.

The anger that has still dominated Blaine's voice up until this moment is now replaced by the pain Blaine is used to bottling up.

"I don't actually remember how old I was when it started – which probably says quite a lot about how young I must have been. And all of it strangely

stopped when I came closer to puberty, maybe at around 11, I don't know. I wish I knew why…why it stopped. As it is all I can think of is, that maybe her

stopping abusing me physically was just the sign that she had finally lost all interest in me."

Blaine takes in a sharp breath before he continues. "Sorry, I am losing focus here. It all started with…Well, for years and years he, my father, kept

screaming at her that if only she would beat the crap out of me, properly, once, I would never cause any trouble ever again. I still don't know what trouble I

caused exactly, but they seemed to know just fine, so, yeah. Either way, my mother did not question him."

"I don't believe those people." Burt grumbles under his breath, but it is so quiet in the living room in this moment that everyone hears.

"So she tried to, straighten me out; for him, I guess. And…and she kept trying. As long as he kept screaming that at her, she kept trying. From then on out

they fought less about banalities, and more about me. Although I am not sure I was any more than just that to them as well, a banality. Anyway," Blaine

shakes his head as if trying to get some order into his own thoughts, "…from then on out their almost daily fights did not end anymore with one of them

losing their voice from all the screaming, and having to give up the fight to the other; or…one of them storming out of the house to climb into their car with

a bottle of wine, or some beers, or whatever, to get drunk. From then on out they ended with my mother storming into my room, or if I wasn't already in

there, chasing me around the house with a broomstick, literally, a fucking broomstick."

Blaine swallows hard, before he can bring himself to say what is lying heavy on his mind now "How sick am I for sometimes missing that, simply because it

was the only time I ever had her full attention. I am such a freak." Blaine chokes the last words out with a sob, then continues with a voice that never stops

to shake "A broomstick. You know, I am surprised she even knew where to find one, considering she never used it for anything but to beat on me while I

kept hiding under the covers of my bed."

Kurt wants to keep on holding Blaine, comforting him with light touches, but finds himself going into a state of shock, his own arms, which he keeps willing

to reach back out for Blaine, instead wrapping themselves around his own upper body, trying to push back the nausea he feels building in himself at Blaine's

words; only able to sit and listen in horror to what has been done to this beautiful boy he is so desperately in love with.

"Oh my gosh, Blaine" Carole says "she could have seriously injured you."

"I know, well, now I do. At the age of eight I doubt I gave that any consideration at all. You know the way small children cover their eyes because they think

they are right there and then instantly invisible to others, because they cannot see anyone themselves anymore? I guess that instinct, that idea, was part of

why I hid under my bedcovers. They were never any real protection, but, at least I did not have to look at her." His own eyes widen in shock at a realization

that overcomes him in that moment "Oh gosh, did I make it easier with that, beating me up like that, because she did not have to look at me either?"

"Blaine, don't you dare blame yourself in any way for this." Burt interjects, anger clearly building under the voice that he struggles to keep calm, aware that

no amount of anger and shouting, or death-threats towards those people will fix any of this, will make any of this easier for Blaine. And that is really all he

should be thinking and caring about right now, how to make this easier for his son's boyfriend.

"You know, on bad days, when the memories are all too clear for comfort, I find myself flinching at walking through a doorframe from one room into

another. And then I really have to pull myself together to not slam the door behind me, and ….All I can see then is me as that little kid running away from

her, slamming my bedroom door shut and throwing all my weight against it, trying, fighting – her pushing from the other side - to keep it closed. It had no

lock, so I obviously never stood a chance to really get away."

He adds with a bitter smile "But, I guess, I always was a fighter. I need to hold on to something positive I got out of all this, otherwise I would have

disappeared in the pain a long time ago." His voice is almost disturbingly quite saying this now, and Burt worries that it is in no way closure that brings this

tone in Blaine's voice about, but something darker, more desperate.

Carole is about to open her mouth, but Blaine beats her to it.

"I guess she must have really loved him, as hard as she tried to please him; always loved him more than me, at least."

Kurt wants to tell Blaine how much he loves him, but chokes on his own tears before he can bring the words to come out of his mouth; the feeling of

helplessness constantly building in him.

"Now she spends most of her days drunk. She is practically begging for me to feel sorry for her. Seemingly telling me with everything she does not for me

but to herself, that she feels guilty about having beaten me for years; abuse is the only thing she ever has been any good at after all, so she continues it, as

self-abuse, now that I am no longer available as her target. How horrible is it, that to me, that makes perfect sense. All she is really after though, from me

now, is for me to tell her it was never her fault, that it was always ever really only me, all along. She wants me to take her guilt away by making it mine.

She might even deep down believe it to be true, if only I told her so, after all I am the cause of her being a drunk in the first place. Right?" He pauses for a

second only to continue a moment later with even more desperation in his voice.

"Both my parents' logic is so screwed up. The scariest part about it is, they have their ways of making you believe in what they say, if you spent enough

time with them; which really is, any time at all. And as a kid you just get caught up, with nowhere to go, and not knowing any different."

He lets out a snort "There was that one day, a couple of years back, before I had my own driver's license, when I called her in the morning, and asked her if

she would be so nice as to pick me up from the train station, because I would come h-h-o-…home for a couple of days." Blaine almost chokes struggling to

bring out the word home. "She told me she could not, because she had already had a few drinks, at ten in the morning. I don't know how I was still hoping

for anything different at that point. Now I figure I convinced myself that what I lived was normal, average. That is how I got through it, how I managed to

stand it on a daily basis."

Blaine is far too deep in his own thoughts and memories to notice the boy next to him is now entirely curled up in himself, shaking and sobbing.

Blaine continues in a cold tone. "I want to hate both of them so badly. And you would think that it is an easy task after all they put me through, but…I still

can't. They disgust me, and make me sick to my stomach. Literally. Every time before I have to go there, I feel sick for weeks in advance. And still, I cannot

bring myself to hate them; and…I have tried. I guess they make me too sad, to really have room to feel anything else."

He adds, talking more to himself than anyone else it seems, "No room, simply no room for anything but that sadness."

The quiet in the room lies heavy. No one has words for what they just heard spilling from Blaine's memory.

Carole is crying into Burt's shoulder.

Burt simply sits there, holding his wife. Trying to provide her with some comfort - looking with worry at Blaine, and at Kurt's trembling form next to him -

thinking to himself 'I will never understand how Blaine grew to be this sweet kid, with that kind of people calling themselves his parents.'

There is a very heavy feeling, but also a silence, a calm filling Blaine's chest, that feels, most of all, unfamiliar.

He had never told anyone before tonight.

After all, who would want to hear about something like that?

So when Burt had asked - the first person ever to really actually ask - some broken part of him, that Blaine had sealed and packed away somewhere inside

himself when he first came to Dalton, had burst open.

As that strange calm slowly spreads through all of him he becomes aware of the boy curled up next to him, shaking, and sobbing into himself as quietly as

he can manage, as if, even in this state, still worried about upsetting others with his own show of despair.

"No." It is a heartbroken sound escaping Blaine's lips. "Kurt. Oh my gosh. I did this to you. I am so sorry. I should never have said anything. I am so, so

sorry. Kurt, please look at me. I am sorry."

As Kurt slowly moves, trembling all over, to lift his head and look at Blaine, who's hand is hovering midway between Kurt and himself, uncertain if Kurt

could stand his touch right now, it is Burt who speaks.

"Blaine."

And suddenly all eyes in the room are on Burt "It is a good thing you told us. And we will have to discuss what all of it means for you and Kurt, but… I

understand that you and Kurt are both too shaken by all of it to do that right now. Frankly, so are Carole and I." He takes a breath, briefly glancing over at

Carole, who nods reassuringly "So, for now, I have only one condition for your relationship. You always let Carole or me know where you two are, and your

phones stay on. I want to be able…We Need to be able to reach you at all times."

"Thank you." Kurt says in a mere, broken whisper.

Blaine nods, speechless as he is, his hand now finally closing the gap between him and Kurt, tenderly resting on Kurt's left forearm.

Kurt's eyes are still fixed on his dad and his voice heavy with tears when he asks "Can Blaine sleep here tonight? We figured he could take the couch or the

guest room, when we came here."

"Of course he can stay. And no, he does not have to use either the couch or the guest room, unless You want him to, Kurt."

Both boys give Burt a confused look. And for the first time in what feels like hours, to all of them, someone in the room is smiling.

"You heard your dad, Kurt. We trust you. Both of you. As long as we know you two are safe, in all possible senses of the word, the particulars of your

relationship are up to you two." Carole's soft voice can be heard by all, but the looks on both boys' faces are now, listening to her words, only more

confused than before.

"Really?" Kurt eventually says.

Burt nods, mirroring the soft smile on Carole's face.

'Wow.' Is all Blaine can think.

"Wow." Too, is all Blaine can bring himself to say.

Out of the two boys - both now slowly regaining something resembling composure - Blaine is the first to remember that they came to Lima for a reason

tonight.

Tenderly moving his right hand from Kurt's left forearm to his left hand, Blaine gives it a soft squeeze, which makes Kurt, who had still been incredulously

looking back and forth between his parents, turn to Blaine.

"Kurt, baby, mind telling me why you brought me here tonight?"

Kurt gives him a firm nod "I almost forgot."

"What's that?" Burt asks. Already sounding again a little more like the upbeat, slightly goofy, person he usually is.

Kurt, not exactly smiling, but with a soft and equally sad expression on his face, looks back at his dad "I wanted to show him the attic."

Blaine is really only confused further by that statement, but Carole smiles softly, and Burt nods knowingly. "Okay, kiddo."

With that Kurt shoots up from where he has been sitting all this time and almost leaps over to his father, engulfing him in a warm hug, which Burt returns

instantly; not taken at all by surprise, as it seems, by his son's sudden action.

That done, Kurt walks back over to Blaine, offers both his hands to him, and pulls him to his feet next to himself, as soon as he takes them.

"If you need us, let us know. " Burt tells them as they begin to climb the first steps of the staircase. "We see you at breakfast."

"Sure Dad." Kurt replies, now with a more honest and much less forced smile on his face leading a still slightly puzzled looking Blaine further up the stairs.

They make their way to the attic without another word.


	17. Intertwined

**Disclaimer: **Even after spending the better part of the last two days re-writing this story, well mainly setting all existing chapters into the present

tense,would you believe it, still no one has offered me ownership of Glee. *sighs* So yep, I still don't own Glee.

**A/N:** Well, that disclaimer really already is kind of an author's note, so anyways…I would love to hear how you feel about this chapter, and of course about

what I did with the other chapters, re-writing them and all that. There are really no plot changes, but it just…I felt like I needed to pull the whole story

together by putting it all into the present tense. And I will stop my nonsensical rambling now and let you enjoy what I think is my favorite chapter so far.

Love you all, M

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seventeen<strong>

When Blaine heard the word attic he had immediately thought of a dark space, full of cobwebs and crowded with boxes and other things left to themselves,

just sitting there, gathering dust.

The space they step into when Kurt opens the door, and turns on the light, Blaine realizes within seconds, is nothing like that.

Sure there are some boxes in the far end of one corner, but the rest, well, it almost looks like a room…someone's room. The colors it is kept in are distinctly

soft, warm and light, and Blaine does not doubt for a second that Kurt picked them himself.

"When we moved in we had an extra window added on the left - to the two small ones that were already there on the right - to make the space brighter,

more welcoming. Natural light, and all that." Kurt says in a low voice.

"Right." Blaine replies nodding "You told me last time I visited that you only moved here a short while ago."

Kurt simply nods, and squeezes Blaine's left hand, which he is still holding with his right, lightly. At that Blaine's gaze wanders to their hands.

Holding Kurt's hand, he realizes with a smile, already feels so natural that he had completely forgotten for a moment they still were, holding hands that is.

But that does in no way mean he takes it for granted, and he wants to let Kurt know just that, without ruining the moment with too many words, or any

words at all. So he makes sure to intertwine their fingers more thoroughly before he looks back up.

"I sometimes miss our old house. I am not sure…"Kurt hesitates, but Blaine understands and finishes the sentence "…whether this will ever truly feel like

home."

"Yes." Kurt smiles locking eyes with Blaine. The moment feels too perfect to just let it pass, so Kurt leans in and presses a soft kiss to Blaine's lips. When he

pulls back Blaine's eyes are still closed and Kurt's smile widens, because he is the one who is putting this blissful look on Blaine's face.

"Blaine?" Kurt says tenderly. "Ready to find out why we are here?"

And suddenly Blaine's eyes are wide open, and Kurt cannot help the laugh that escapes his lips at the eager look on his boyfriend's face.

"Ready if you are." Blaine says while Kurt leads him over to the left side of the room. They come to a halt directly under the skylight, which now in the dark

does not reveal much of the actual sky, and instead in the artificial light throws the boys reflection right back at them. Kurt looks up, and huffs. "Ugh, my

hair looks horrible. Remind me to try out a different kind of hairspray. This brand does just so not live up to its promises."

"Only if you help me find some stronger hair gel as well."

"Deal."

"What is this smell? It's nice."

Blaine watches with slight confusion as Kurt lets go of his hand and walks over to a simple but beautiful dresser, standing to the left of the skylight, close to

a soft, thick blanket spread out directly under the skylight. Kurt pulls all the drawers open wide and in the next second plops down on the blanket, gesturing

for Blaine to join him. When Blaine reaches him Kurt is already lying on his back, eyes closed, taking in deep breaths. Blaine lies down mimicking Kurt's

position to the boy's left, and before he knows it, Kurt is cuddling into Blaine's right side. Kurt's head resting on Blaine's chest. Blaine softly wraps his arms

around Kurt, holding him close.

Only now Blaine notices that the smell has intensified, and looking over to the dresser instantly identifies it as the source.

Kurt who has opened his eyes and sees Blaine's gaze resting on the dresser says "My mum's perfume. I come here on Mother's Day, Christmas, her

birthday, her deathday…whenever I had the worst of days at McKinley I came here, well, not here here until recently obviously, but…her and my dad's old

room, in the house I grew up in."

"You miss that house." It is not a question.

"Sometimes. I mostly miss her though, and…I felt just that little closer to her in that house, so when we moved here, I asked my dad for this space. You

have seen how he is, he could not bring himself to say no to me, not with this." Kurt gestures to the furniture, clothes and small selection of antiques

surrounding them. And Blaine's gaze is momentarily drawn to a half-finished picture of a beautiful garden in full bloom resting against the wall next to what

Blaine suspects to be a full-length mirror covered with some thin veil-like cloth. "She never…it was the last thing she worked on, my dad told me, before she

felt too weak to…" Kurt cannot bring himself to finish the sentence, and Blaine can feel Kurt's silent tears staining his shirt. Blaine lets Kurt cry, holding him,

stroking affectionately, soothingly with his left hand through Kurt's hair. Whispering "I love you," now and then; and as Kurt's breathing begins to even out

again, he asks. "So what was it again that you wanted to show me?"

Kurt glances shortly at Blaine and then gestures towards a longish black case resting on a rocking chair to the right of the skylight.


	18. To Know Somebody

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee, or any of the music mentioned in this chapter.

**A/N: **So, the music piece is Claude Debussy's _De L'Aube a Midi sur la Mer_. You can find it on youtube right here: www[dot]youtube[dot]com/watch?v=sNCMcACEe7I

You know how it works, replace the [dot] with, well actual dots…;)

Blaine plays all of it on the piano during the recital, and Kurt here plays the part that you can hear from 2:29 to 3:04. (I recommend beginning to listen at 2:20, should you only listen to this small part of it, just to have a moment to get into it). I think it is beautiful and unusual, just as Kurt is. Soft in parts but forceful too in its way, again, just as Kurt himself is. And in my mind his mom played it for that reason to him. I also imagine her having been like that a lot herself, unusual and mesmerizing, sitting there in that rocking chair, with baby Kurt in her lap, playing the transverse flute, and so alive:).

I hope you are not disappointed by my song choice for this. There is this mixture of hope and despair in this particular piece that to me feels so right for this story. Please go listen to it, and let me know how You think and FEEL, most of all how you feel, about it.

* * *

><p><strong>This chapter is dedicated to <em>Addie117<em> and _Bethan-Holly_ I am so happy this story brought you two into my life.  
><strong>

**Chapter Eighteen**

Kurt is about to get up, when Blaine stops him "It's alright, I got it."

Kurt smiles at Blaine and nods. "Okay."

Holding the black case in his hands as he walks back over to Kurt he is fairly sure he has a good idea of what is resting in it.

Handing it to Kurt, Blaine sits back down next to him.

Kurt takes a breath, and begins to speak "So, this you probably figured by now belonged to my mum. She used to play on it for me and to me, already while

she was pregnant with me. My dad swears that must be how I got my perfect pitch. I say it's from tuning cars with him," He smiles, and Blaine has to laugh.

"It is a flute, right?" Blaine says in a soft voice.

"Yes. How did you know?"

"The weight of it in my hand, it just felt like it to me. I am like that with instruments."

Blaine lets out a surprised "oh," as soon as Kurt opens the case.

"Oh?" Kurt asks back.

"It is a…"

"…a transverse flute." Kurt completes the sentence.

"I thought it felt a little too heavy for it to be exactly what I pictured."

"It's okay." Kurt smirks "Don't worry, I still love you. Although your lack of ability to tell exactly what is in variously sized and shaped boxes just by looking

at them and caring them around is frankly shocking, and inexcusable."

Their eyes lock and both boys burst into a fit of laughter.

Blaine watches as Kurt clearly knowledgeable puts the instrument together, and in the next moment to his own lips.

He looks briefly at Blaine and says "So, this was always my mum's favorite to play to me." Then he closes the gap between his mouth and the instrument

and begins to play. Within seconds Blaine recognizes the piece. Having just spent days rearranging it himself for the piano, with a little help from Miss

Bright, he would be ashamed of himself if he did not. He watches as Kurt's slender fingers, practically made for the instrument, elegantly dance on its silvery

surface.

When his eyes wander to Kurt's face he gasps. 'I have never seen Kurt look so serene.'

Kurt stops at a part which seems to Blaine as random as the starting point he chose. When he opens his eyes he finds Blaine simply sitting there smiling

softly at him.

"My mother loved Debussy."

"'De l'Aube a Midi sur la Mer' is a really beautiful piece." Blaine simply replies.

"It was so sweet of you to rearrange it for piano and play it for me. I just…it just…"

"It reminded you of your mum."

"Yes, but not just that. The part I just played to you. She played that to me whenever I was really upset or down, and when you told me you were playing

for me today to cheer me up, and let me know how very much you care about me…"

"Make that love." Blaine almost blurts out, and Kurt has to smile at that before he continues.

"…how very much you love me. It was so sweet, but it was too much all at once. She used to sit in that rocking chair over there playing it to me, first with

me still being in her and then with me sitting on her lap. And…and every time before she put the flute to her lips she would tell me how much she loves me,

and that everything was going to be alright."

"I am sorry I used the piece without asking you first about its deeper meaning to you."

"In a way I am happy you did, you know, because it lead to you showing me more of yourself, and to me showing you all this. And I have missed someone

to share it with, to share her with, for a long time now. My dad has a hard time talking about her, and he has Carole now, so I try not to bring my mum up

that much around him anymore. I…I just…"

"I would love to get to know her, and remember her with you." Blaine says placing both of his hands on top of Kurt's still resting on the transverse flute on

his knees.

"Do you ever not know what to say?" Kurt smiles.

"Well…emh…eeeeeh…" Blaine smirks.

"Oh, so now you are making fun of me?"

"Maybe. A little."

"Well, guess what you are going to be sleeping on the couch tonight."

"Wow. Wait a second Kurt. How did this happen, I have been your boyfriend for only a couple of hours and I am already banned from the bedroom to the

couch? Aren't we skipping some rather fun make-out sessions here?"

Kurt blushes violently, but retorts "Well, if you are not careful you will never make it from the couch into the bedroom at all."

Blaine decides right now is the perfect time to put his secret weapon to good use.

"Oh, not fair Blaine. No. Stop pouting at me at once. Gosh, you did that this morning, singing _Misery_. Stop. Now."

"But Kurt, I saw your face during the performance you secretly love my pout."

"Guilty." Kurt admits, "You don't know how hard it was not to lean down and kiss you right there and then."

Blaine in response only pouts some more.

"I give up." Kurt says and then leans his head down to where Blaine's head is resting on his shoulder and presses his lips hungrily against Blaine's. Who lifts

his own head a little and responds at least as eagerly.

"Wait." Kurt pulls back for a moment. "I just need to pack the flute away." Blaine, lets out an already slightly breathless "Oh, yes, of course. Go ahead," and

watches Kurt, as he with sure but tender movements puts everything back into its place.

"You are so graceful, Kurt. How have I never before noticed how graceful your hands are, no matter what you do?" Blaine says as Kurt sits back down next

to him.

"Well, you are just bouncy. I bet your nickname as a child was Tigger. Always rushing and bouncing around, of course you did not notice how graceful I am

before. You need to sit still for more than two seconds to do so. Lucky for you I am utterly mesmerizing, so you really had no choice."

"True," Blaine smiles.

"Which part?"

"The nickname. Everything else is complete nonsense of course." Blaine winks.

Kurt lets out a guttural sound at that Blaine is absolutely certain he has never heard Kurt make before. 'I would so remember that,' is all Blaine has time to

think before he is pushed back down into a lying position on the blanket, Kurt on top of him.

'Oh wow, Kurt is on top of me.'

Both lean in at the same time, and their mouths meet with more force than either boy intended, but it feels so good, so right, neither even considers to

complain.

After a couple of minutes of awkward half-hovering over, half-leaning on Blaine Kurt settles himself a little to Blaine's right, his own right leg slightly tangled

in between Blaine's.

Now that he does not have to use both his hands to hold himself up anymore Kurt uses his left to steady himself a little while he rests his right hand splayed

on Blaine's chest, directly over his heart.

Blaine can feel the warmth of Kurt's touch through the fabric of his shirt, and it makes his skin tingle.

"Your heart is beating really fast." Kurt says, pulling out of the still ongoing kiss.

"All your doing, Babe." Blaine smiles tenderly brushing a rogue strand of hair out of Kurt's face.

"You love doing that, don't you?"

"If you mean making good use of every excuse I have to touch your hair. Yes, yes I do. It is so soft. I wish mine was more like that."

"Well, if you would ever let me see it without all that gel in it, I might be able to help you with that."

"I doubt it Kurt. It is a mess up there. I don't even like gel, I really just don't know what else to do about it."

"Lucky I found you." Kurt says now completely settling into Blaine's side, resting his head on his boyfriend's chest.

"You will never hear me argue that one." Blaine whispers back.

As their breathing falls into a steady rhythm with each other neither boy will be able to tell in the morning who drifted off to sleep first.

When Burt enters the room to check on them, knowing he will find them here, with Kurt's bedroom still empty at 2 in the morning, he has to smile at how

peaceful those two look wrapped in each other's arms.

But it is after all March, and it can still get rather chilly up her at this time of year; so Burt takes the blanket he has brought up with him and slowly covers

the two boys with it up to their shoulders.

Having shifted in their sleep Blaine is the one now resting his head on the left of Kurt's chest, right above his heart. So Burt walks over to his dead wife's

dresser, closes all the drawers Kurt opened before, except for one, out of which he pulls a pillow he knows Kurt keeps in there. Then he slowly pushes that

drawer closed too.

He walks back over to the boys, kneels down next to Kurt for a moment, gently lifts the sleeping boys head before placing it back onto the pillow now lying

under it. "You can thank me in the morning for not having a sore neck," Burt whispers.

"Thank you Dad." Kurt whispers back in his sleep.

Burt slowly gets up, and walks back over to the door, as he turns of the light he looks back once more onto the sleeping form of the two boys now resting

hopefully more comfortably under the night sky now visible through the skylight. "I keep forgetting what a light sleeper you are, Kiddo," Burt says more to

himself than anyone else as he quietly closes the door.


	19. Starlight in your Eyes

**Disclaimer: **Never have I ever owned Glee.

**A/N: **Enjoy! Review?

And go check out my fun one-shot** 'The Kisser is Out'**, I felt horrible yesterday and wrote it to cheer myself up, so if you need a laugh, or a couple of those – and who does not – I think it might actually work; it certainly worked for me writing it:)

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Nineteen<strong>

As Burt descends the stairs he smiles to himself.

'It feels so different, knowing he is not up here alone this time. I always worried so much. I know he thinks I never notice him coming up here to sleep.

Sneaking out of his room after another nightmare, and creeping up the stairs. I should have known something was up with that Karofsky kid when Kurt

started spending almost every minute in our old house in front of that dresser.'

Kurt did not blame his father for not noticing. After all, the heart attack had been a tough blow for the both of them, and Burt had remained tired and

groggy for weeks after.

But Burt, father he is, cannot help placing some of the blame, for letting it come that far last year, with himself.

"I am so happy for them. They need each other, so much though that it sometimes scares me." Burt says when he walks into Carole's and his bedroom.

Carole offers him a warm smile, "I think it scares them too. In fact, I think that is why it took them so long to really see each other. Kurt only recently

stopped walking around with that dreamy look in his eyes, and nothing but praise for Blaine. And Blaine, well, after what he told us tonight I am not

surprised he held back for so long. It must be terribly hard for him to trust anyone. I think he is scared of hurting Kurt by getting not just close, but

potentially too close to him."

"What are we going to do about all this?"

"Burt."

"Mmh?"

"Let us go to bed, and figure that out in the next couple of days, when we have had some time to really think about it."

Burt nods calmly,"You should have seen them up there in the attic, I can't even remember the last time Kurt looked that peaceful, asleep or awake."

When Kurt opens his eyes, it still being pitch black outside, and far too early to get up, or in fact be awake at all, the first thing he sees is the clear starry

night sky. The second thing he notices is the pillow under his head. 'So Dad really was here.' Kurt smiles to himself.

When his eyes finally fall on the dark haired boy resting his head on Kurt's chest the smile widens, and his breath catches for a moment in his throat.

"Your heart is beating faster now."

"Blaine, how long have you been awake?"

"Just now, actually. I love this, waking up to the sound of your breathing and your heartbeat."

"Look up. That is even more amazing."

Blaine looks up and beams at Kurt. "You are right, more amazing."

"No Silly, not me. Up there." Kurt nods towards the night sky.

When Blaine finally turns his head to look out the skylight he says "Not bad either, true. I prefer to look at you right now though. Your bed hair, well floor

hair technically, is adorable."

"Says mister curly hair."

Blaine's hands come up to his hair instantly.

"Ha, messing with you, don't worry your helmet of gel is still more or less in place."

Kurt's eyes wander to where he knows to be an old grandfatherclock in the room "Now how is it that we are we up at... 5:40am?"

"I don't know about you Kurt, but I wanted to enjoy the company of my boyfriend a little more before I have to share him with his family and friends at

Dalton again."

Kurt replies with only a content smile, and pressing a tender kiss to Blaine's forehead.

"I love you too." Blaine whispers up to Kurt before snuggling back into his side, Kurt's arms coming around Blaine, pulling him that little bit closer.

Before they know it both boys have drifted into an even deeper sleep than before.


	20. Red?

**Disclaimer: **It would be so much fun I bet, but I do not own Glee.

**A/N: **So this is it: The last chapter. I hope you had fun with this story. Thank you to all my readers, but especially those of you who did let me know how

you felt about the story, you know who you are. I love you all!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 20<strong>

When Kurt and Blaine wake up again, it is almost 10 o'clock.

"You are just too comfortable a pillow." Blaine says.

"And you are just too comfortable a blanket." Kurt retorts.

"We will have to test those two theories again, soon." Blaine says smiling.

After both boys have taken a shower, and gotten dressed they walk hand in hand down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Carole squeals almost as much at Blaine's now, after the shower, really curly and 100% gel-free hair, as Kurt had when he first saw it. Thankfully she does

not, as Kurt did only moments ago, spend the next 10 minutes kissing Blaine deeply, just to have an excuse to run all ten fingers through that hair.

While Carole is slightly preoccupied with Blaine, Kurt's gaze falls unto his father, sitting at the kitchen table, just finishing up his own breakfast.

"Dad? Why are you smiling like that?" Kurt asks slightly irritated.

"Are those Blaine's clothes?"

Well, no, they are Kurt's, but why is his father interested in that.

"Well, no, he actually borrowed some of mine. Why?"

"I am just surprised, I mean, I always thought you are the only person in Ohio that can fit into those skinny jeans."

"Yeah dude, no offence, but how the hell did you get into those?" Finn blurts out walking into the kitchen in his "Is he wearing golden silk pajamas or am I

hallucinating, Kurt?" Blaine says in a half whisper.

"Just see it as a real-life demonstration of what being 100% gay saves you from, because I am pretty sure Rachel got those for him. Of course, to match her

own." Kurt adds in an afterthought.

"Don't mind him, Blaine. He has spotted the food by now, so that means within a second or two you won't understand anything he's saying anyway." Kurt

warns him.

"Why?" Blaine asks.

"Never mind, it has already started." Is Kurt's only reply, and he nods for Blaine to follow his own gaze to where Finn is standing now, at least two pancakes

at once in his mouth."

"D's wo'd."

"Sorry what?" Blaine says.

"Case in point. Don't feel too bad though, it takes a couple of weeks to learn to speak 'Pancake'. And I am pretty sure Finn still keeps making up new words,

too, just to make it more difficult and annoying."

Finn is about to speak again, when Kurt just shakes his head and now holding two dishes with pancakes and berries on them signals for Blaine to follow him

with their cups of coffee into the living room.

They sit down in the same comfy spot they sat the evening before, the plates and cups placed before them on the coffee table.

They eat in silence, smiling at each other from time to time.

After a while Burt and Carole join them in the living room - now that Finn has been supplied with enough food, which is not an easy or fast achieved task,

they have a moment to relax on the couch - too each a cup of coffee in hand.

"So how did you sleep?" Burt asks.

"Better than ever." Kurt says beaming at Blaine, and then blushes deep.

"Yeah, better than ever." Blaine echoes Kurt's answer to make him feel less awkward about saying it in the first place. 'And really, it is true,' Blaine thinks.

Carole smiles at them. "When are you heading back to Dalton?"

"In a couple of hours, we have a Glee Club meeting later today, with Regionals being so close and all that," Kurt says. "Is it okay if we just spend the time

we have left in the garden and around the house?"

"Of course it is." Carole replies with a smile.

"Blaine," Burt addresses him, suddenly growing serious.

"Yes Burt."

"We…Carole and I talked briefly this morning, and we decided we don't need to talk about all that was said yesterday right this morning." Blaine nods,

looking relieved, so Burt continues "At some point we will need to talk it out though, and rather sooner than later. But most of all, we would like you to

come here and talk to us whenever you need to get something of your chest, and to stop by and really talk everything through before you go see your

parents again. You are always welcome here, no matter what. So let us know when you need us."

Blaine nods, tearing up slightly, and Kurt smiles at Blaine, taking both of his boyfriend's hands in his; mouthing 'I love you,' because Blaine looks like he

needs that kind of reassurance right now, to find the focus to say what he needs to say.

"I will, I promise. Thank you Burt, Carole."

"Good," Burt smiles.

Hoping this is the last time his family will bring it up today, Kurt tries to defuse the tension that he can feel still lingering in the room, by looking up at his

father, asking with his most brilliant smile, Blaine notices, "Dad, would you be so nice, and get some more coffee for Blaine and I?"

"Sure thing, Kiddo. Carole?"

"Oh, yes, thank you, I will have some more. Do you need help?"

"No, no I got this." Burt says with another smile.

When he returns, their coffees in hand, Burt says "You know Blaine", sounding to Kurt's relief much more lighthearted again "what Kurt has neglected to

mention is, probably because he still thinks I have not caught on, yet,…yes sitting like that is comfortable, but also, it is the perfect position to glance up at

the person sitting on the sofa with those big eyes of his." Kurt looks slightly taken aback, and worried now, and Blaine is really just confused.

"A couple of weeks before Christmas, every year since he turned two, and whenever his birthday gets close, Kurt suddenly abandons all use of furniture and

sits only in that very spot in front of the chair. When we moved, that spot was the one point around which Kurt build up the whole design for the house."

"You noticed?" Kurt asks, eyes wide.

"Did I notice that you made sure you would still be able to shoot whoever asks you what you would like for Christmas and Birthdays the most adorable smile

looking up at them with big eyes? Kurt, I think you don't even remember that, but you sat in that very spot in our old house when you asked for that pair of

sensible heels you had seen out shopping with your mother."

Blaine pulls Kurt into a hug "Oh, Kurt. I want to hear that whole story some time."

Kurt looks uncertain about it, but eventually gives Blaine a nod.

Turning back to his dad "Does that mean, in the future, I will have to think of new ways to get across my intense need for designer clothes and skin care

products?" Kurt says with a rather serious and concerned look on his face.

"No, no Kurt. " Burt answers through his roaring laughter. "I would miss it too much, it is practically part of the Hummel Christmas tradition by now.

Kurt can see a glint in his dad's eyes that he is not sure he likes, because he has - after watching Burt with Finn and especially Carole over the last months

since they moved in - a pretty good idea what it means. And sure enough a minute later "So Blaine, since I am fairly sure Kurt hardly remembers any of it,

here is the thing about those sensible heels…"

"Dad, no, please don't." Kurt groans. But Burt is already in full swing, and all Kurt can do is sit there, and listen, and watch Blaine out of the corner of his

eyes with badly disguised concern. Blaine notices, while Burt is in the middle of the story, and takes Kurt's hands in his, tracing soothing circles into Kurt's

palms, and - returning the sweet gesture - mouthing 'I love you' to Kurt.

As, a couple of hours later, they step out of the house and make their way over to Blaine's car, Blaine pauses for a moment, turns to Kurt, and takes both of

Kurt's hands in his own. "You know, your family, and especially seeing you interact with them, how happy you are, how much you smile, it only makes me

love you more."

"Even the red heels story?"

"Even the… Wait, no one ever mentioned any colors. So they were red? So much for not remembering, hmm?"

"Well, Dad has way too much fun telling the story, so I play along."

"Are there any other stories I should be aware will be coming my way soon?"

"Oh, I am sure there will be plenty, but have you heard the one about the bright red sundress that I would snatch out of my mother's wardrobe and wrap

myself in. You cannot really call it wear, it was far too big at age 2, of course."

"So wait, that happened before the heels?"

"What do you think I needed matching red heels for!"

"I love you, Kurt." Blaine says leaning in for a kiss.

"I love you too, Blaine." Kurt whispers back, bridging the gap with his lips.

**THE END**


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